But Awkward Zombie is extra funny, so I figure it balances out.

The only ball I ever got was at a AAA game I took my daughter and her friend to. During the seventh, my daughter and her friend got Reeeeeaallly bored, so I figured I’d take them home, grumbling my entire way out of the park. The park I went to has an old converted factory with a metal roof running parallel to the…

Yes, apparently Activision owns the rights to anything gun-shaped now. But they won’t get my thumb and pointer finger unless they pry them from my cold dead hands!

Only if written by whoever does their Twitter feed.

Thanks friend, but I can go buy a set myself.

I work for a family business. Take my word for it, family business money disappears faster than a fart in the wind when you get down to the third generation. Nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles all grabbing from the same pot. This week, I got second degree burns on my hands (AKA: branding) because “We can’t afford…

My go to is going to be a crowbar. You have stabby, smashy and pry...y all in one tool. Plus over axe, pointed end won’t get stuck in zombie skull, and you’d never have to sharpen it. And it won’t break off like a knife.

19) Dealers

God bet a lot of money on GSW last year, and was afraid his bookies would come for his kneecaps.

Here’s Spud Webb’s dunks, who at 5'7" won the NBA’s dunking contest.

Are you kidding? I don’t give a flying fuck about soccer, and even I know that the basest soccer player playing for the most shit league team while riding the bench into retirement must be able to dunk a ball. Even goalies who stand there for 90% of the game to defend an 8 foot high net need to be capable of defending…

The guy was already in his 30's when it was better to be “dead than red”. Cut him some slack. He isn’t exactly a policy maker. Just look at him like your grandmother who talks about “The (Insert specific race)“. Sure, Nana, whatever you say.

Anyone else find it odd that his girlfriend kind of looks like Stephanie McMahon?

Hmmmm.... You two know each other?

How about a designated “Brawl Game” where twice a year, rival teams get to beat the living shit out of each other during the seventh inning stretch? I bet they could charge double for those games and still sell out every stadium.

I’m hoping one thing hasn’t changed. Motorcycles were amazing. Only because 90% of the people hacking you online grabbed them, and never noticed that none of the NPC’s ever rode them. You see someone following you on a bike, kill ‘em.

Aiden sucks shit. “I need to protect my nephew from harm, so I’ll murder 600 goons and kill 50 pedestrians by running them over. I am Batman.” Chug another sack of gravel, Aiden!

You mean he can actually change to look human?

My money’s on Bran, Girl Whose Job It Is Go Protect Bran and Hodor finally travelling south, with Hodor getting the honor of giving Ramsay’s head the old Mountain Mash.

“Odor’s now two for five today.”