Amputating it yourself would be more metal. ;)

Knife-Cauterized Arm is the name of my Cannibal Corpse cover band.

Surely if the internet bands together we can find her and celebrate her for the goddamn hero she is.

She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm.

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

"It's not wild chicken."

She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm.

Yeah no Rayner. Shut the fuck up. You do not abandon animals at a fucking train station. Oh my god I am raging so hard right now at her utter failure as a human being.

"And here is our garden."

I work with people AALLLLLLLLL day. I have a finely developed appreciation for people who take no shit from those people and a keen respect for management that doesn't throw itself into every mud puddle so the customer can walk all over them and their staff. The customer isn't always right. Sometimes the customer is a…

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

Why have I never had any friends with hot dads? Life has cheated me.

Where is mama Pennisi in all of this? I realize he may be 18, but I'm pretty sure if nrrdtoddlrr pulled this shit in the future, we would be rethinking his college plans, and looking more into "living at home and attending community college" or "joining the military", because he would need more adult supervision in…

What strikes me the most here is that the mom's consent is missing here. I get that it's a joke and that the kid's an idiot, but you don't get to take a grown woman anywhere without, you know, asking HER first. Boyz R Dum.

God the fucking male entitlement just starts SO. EARLY.

Pretty sure this woman's feelings or consent didn't even enter into his mind.

So, police are protecting people's rights by arresting a man who stood up to a serial rapist, but no one has thought to arrest the fucking rapist yet apparently.

remember the time

Haunted by frat boys sounds horrible, actually. Imagine all the late night "WHOOOOO!" noises you'd have to contend with. From beyond the grave.