Oh my god. Cauterizing your arm is the most metal thing I've ever heard.

This story has been breaking my heart since it started! He is so damn cute and this woman is the fucking worst.

This is hysterical.

Oh okay. That doesn't make it any less fucked up.

Who wants to protest the Tacoma show with me?

Why is he talking about this in his memoir?

This is delightful and amazing.

If they occasionally supply me with some beer, I'd be down.

I feel tired just reading this so I can't imagine actually living this life.

I should have known how gross the Navy story would be! My dad was in the Navy and convinced a bunch of his buddies in boot camp that wasabi was Japanese toothpaste and that's why they did so well in the beginning of WWII. Anyone who brushed their teeth with that had to be one tough motherfucker.

I hope you never do either. I never wanted mine to rule my life...but it's kind of hard to avoid it.

OMG I just should have told the man to rape me to stop! And then it wouldn't have happened!

Right? The playfulness makes her look so stunning.

Omg what? How have I lived without seeing this?

I got SO hopeful.

They're even worse at places like Bauhaus or Vita.

He sure seems to know a lot about semen and how it tastes. Maybe this is insider knowledge.

Good on you, Jessa and Ben! I hope they continue to fuck everywhere and scandalize their families.

I have never wanted to break things more in my entire life.

That is so so sweet of you to offer and that sounds totally awesome.