Engineers will climb over a mountain of naked virgins just to fuck a technician. 

Someone I know once said, “I think that sometimes, we need to bring the guillotines out. Not to actually use them; just to scare the politicians into actually being useful.”

Missed headline opportunity: “Arizona Man Gives New Mercedes Thumbs-Down”

Blending the two ZJs will be great! I’ll have a rare, rust-free five-speed Grand Cherokee.

And I’ll be able to sell my beautiful 1993 five-speed. 

Off to a bad start.

A life without an XJ is not a life worth living.

Im just imagining David stirring a bucket of ATF and diesel while chanting and painting his face with bearing grease...

I always thought the Challenger was the best looking of the three Pony cars

Mozeltov! Its a Fitler! 

For the record, I accidentally wrote “Oil Fitler” in my initial draft, and I’m not sure why I changed it given how badly this filter wants to ruin lives.

That first millimeter of movement is probably like seeing your newborn child for the first time.

Bad but entertaining alternate solution: kick the jacks out from under the car.

I think they get their sales by always being available and being something people can settle for. Ford lot only had the highest trim F150? Chevy will have a lower trim available. Hyundai only had the base model Santa Fe? You can go get a Yukon (or Terrain if that is the equivalent—I can’t be bothered to remember GM…

AMC was the master of desperate, demented resourcefulness, reaching its highest expression in the Gremlin and the Eagle.

Years ago I had to replace the exterior temp sensor on my 91 Grand Wagoneer, so the plastic front bits had to come off. I stood back and this is what I saw.

Excellent. This all goes according to my plan to buy one of these at a deep discount in a couple years. These were almost in the 30s before the chipshortagepocalpyse came to town.

This thing is simultaneously neat as hell and no dice as fuck.

They done goofed with the orientation but the simple Ohio plate is both boring and iconic, easy to identify one driving 10 mph slower than the speed limit on US-23 heading south to Toledo.

My mother didn’t call me Dreamkiller for nothing. 

This is maximum Jalop.