LeVar Burton, Ken Jennings.

Probably can’t throw a football, either, due to all of that limp-wristing.

Because they lisp, which is apparently a physical malady.

Good thing you didn’t name this huge internationally known company to, I suppose, protect your friend’s privacy because I was fully intending on pouring through employee records until I could figure out who your friend was. As opposed to, I don’t know, not giving the company my business to protest their greediness.

:-/

Oh, I thought you were talking about this Owen Labrie fellow, I did actually know that story you’re talking about. SORRY TO MAKE YOU TYPE SO MUCH!

Can you summarize?

Let’s be real, Sir Richard Branson is a pug/chihuahua mix in a wig.

I seemed like such a likely candidate. And I didn’t have any morning sickness (just one day at the very beginning), but I’ve hardly been able to sleep, I’ve been having near-nightly panic attacks, my back is shot, I tire out so easily, I feel gross even though my weight gain is minimal and I’m smart enough, I thought,…

Ha, well at least you have that miraculous Birth Orgasm to look forward to.

I don’t even want to get into that whole “bliss of the birth orgasm” yadda yadda people have extolled (Ricki Lake, I think I mean you!) because EFF ALL OF YOU! (I will be more balanced in 22 1/2 weeks when this is over. Give or take a few months for getting back to normal sleeping patterns, which I haven’t had since…

I’m in the second trimester and I held out hope that the awfulness would pass and I’d get that magic sex drive I was promised. SOMEONE NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED FOR ALL OF THESE LIES I BELIEVED.

Probably not if you’ve read the book.

At my university, most athletes were communications majors....

Don’t do the Mirena, imo. I did it and then wondered why I was so depressed all the time (which is the reaction I have to progestin-only BC pills and Depo Provera) FOR FOUR YEARS! Then I had it out because it was time to start trying for a baby and felt better and just had this dumb AHA! moment. Also, I didn’t…

Yes, figuring out your life is akin to being a good person and if you don’t get ‘er done before some arbitrary moment YOU ARE A FLIPPING TERRIBLE PERSON. Also, if you do get ‘er done before the arbitrary moment, but you change your mind PUT ON YOUR TERRIBLE PERSON PANTS YOU MONSTER.

So wait, that’s Denzel on the Grey’s set, right?

nononono, It’s Kate Hudson.

Yeah, 2/5 stars, could at least be funnier.

Meh, as someone who has had a miscarriage and is currently pregnant, while the actual act is horrifying, it doesn’t bother me to make dumb jokes about it. I’m sure she’s had her own tragedies.