Thatz not okay.

You misspelled “tomato sauce".

As a man, the thought of being a woman of any stature is horrifying. As a man, the thought that there are other men out there so depraved that this kind of behavior passes for acceptable is even more horrifying.

Because the early Beatles were really changing the genre of rock n roll

Kirstie Alley made me LAUGH.

RiFF RAFF WiTH HiS CONSTANT DEDiCATiON TO THE LOWER CASE i’S iS iNSPiRATiONAL.
Seriously, because I had to re-do this post more than once to get it right.

Yes, I mean the *entirety* of the nation of India.
/sarcasm

Right up there with “I’m sorry, but...”. NO YOU AREN’T! These phrases hover around shitty statements like flies around....SHIT.

I wish that phrase could be banned.

Or maybe don’t break the law? Those laws are there for a reason.

Good lord. If you get sentenced to ten years in prison in Australia, what country do they send you to?

I love Karl and Lisa so badly. This gif is everything.

I live in Chicago and as such my apartment is under the flight pattern of two major airports (O’Hare and Midway.) I had an apartment neighbor (don’t know which floor he lived on, hopefully he’s not on mine or better moved out) who was one of those chemtrail nutters.

Did you know that wine contains the same chemicals as Koala PEE???? PAY ME MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

He’s doing a show here soon but I’m concerned if I go I’ll end up shouting out something about Amy, whom I love more.

I think I kinda get why you’d have that expectation of Eggers, but I am glad you had a different experience. Isn’t he the one that’s opened up a pirate store/tutoring program for kids? He seems earnest.

Love Dave Eggers!

Sedalia drew an aardvark in my copy of Me Talk Pretty One Day. At least I think it’s an aardvark. I can’t honestly tell, but I treasure it. He’s awesome.

I’ve met David Sedaris twice at signings - the first time my brother (whom I will never forgive) told him we’d eaten at Chili’s. DS shuddered and wrote in the book “TeenyMartine, we’ll always have Chili’s”. The second time he wrote “Why did you let them crucify our Lord?”

He drew me a picture of a jack o lantern.