This is fantastic! Now my neighbors can’t say shit about my giant blood stone circle in the backyard or the skeleton army I planted under their flower bed.

its not a seizure it’s just what my love feels like

This gif is perfect for us, by which I mean I think I’m having a seizure

lol you do get really mad and it’s really funny

Except Ferrari guy. In the midst of all this evil-minded douchebaggery, Ferrari guy seems cheerful and benign.

I would NEVER think of using Open Table this way. I use it when I need to book a reservation AHEAD OF TIME for a few people for a work dinner thing. (It is great to have the electronic confirmation to send to those attending) But I would never use Open Table while at the restaurant in order to prove the server wrong…

It takes a special kind of idiot to elevate an artificial caramel based beverage into an aggravated assault case.

The mother proceeds to tell my manager that I was extremely rude to them and that I lied to them about the wait time because I was “discriminating” (wat) against them.

I’m with you on this!

You know, we can have more than one hero at a time.

As a mentally ill person I want to bake this woman an amazing cake. This man is not mentally ill, and that would just be a way for Fox and even progressive outlets to ignore the changes and evolution that has occurred in American racism.

I flirt like Winston on New Girl. “Hey guy, what your name is?”...”What that thang do?”

Shade Court nomination: is Judge Kara Brown shading Groupthink, the subblog oft mistaken for a Jezebel subblog, with the inclusion of Tyra’s tweet in tweetbeat?

“Creating your own environment of privilege” is a pretty unromantic way to talk about your girlfriend.

It sure was nice of her to let all those other people join her for her parade.

Finally, someone gets it! I saw all kinds of coverage about some big sport game thing and wondered if anyone would step up with the real story.

I like to imagine the guy is super-racist, but also completely uninformed about any racial stereotypes. So he just walks around all day yelling things at people, “Latinos, always wearing striped cardigans! Ugh, those Indians and their Starbucks! You Italians and your magazines!”

IT’S NOT AN E FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

You never meet smart racists anymore! Back in the Thomas Jefferson days there used to be smart racists everywhere, but they have all died.