It’s not the event - it’s the frequency.

One out of my vagina and one ripped out of my guts after I was sliced open while awake. This will never stop blowing my mind.

I misstated. The specific case I was referring to was actually “attempted homicide”. Here’s an article about it:

An article about that for those wondering.

Very detailed descriptions of outfits are probably the fastest way to make sure that your book feels really dated in no time.

That’s... perjury...

Juror #2, when asked if he understood what “extreme atrocity or cruelty” was, replied simply that “they should’ve run Marshawn Lynch.”

Damn, Shelly wants a St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital donation back? And the cost of a thong? Wow.

Still, it’s a dollar she donated, and a dollar that the billionaire lady wants back. Who’s the uglier of the two?

Hahahahahahaaha what the hell? I’m currently in the market for shells like that (conference time, hey) and seriously, 450$? Even if I get mega rich someday no shirt is worth 450 fucking dollars. A really good coat? Sure. A gown for a very fancy event? Yeah. A little silk shell? I don’t care what heirloom factory it…

It’s not just that the prices have skyrocketed, it’s that the quality has tanked. In college I would splurge on one of their cashmere v-necks a year and gradually built up a nice little collection that lasted most of a decade. Two of the last three sweaters I bought there arrived with holes in them. Also 98% of their…

I used to date a very tall Norwegian fellow, and he was whiter than a cave-fish. I called him a "tall glass of milk" all the time. He didn't think it was as funny as I did.

As Wu Tang Clan said: “C.R.E.A.M.”

Fox News pundit asking, without a hint of humor: “Do the American people really want another four, eight years of the Clintons and their weird marriage?”

They love traditional hetero marriage. They think that the breakdown of the family is responsible for most of society’s ills. But they also hate that this couple decided to stay married to each other despite their problems.

Stewart showed a clip of a slack-jawed Fox News pundit asking, without a hint of humor: “Do the American people really want another four, eight years of the Clintons and their weird marriage?”

How have rich white men in America survived so long on top when they are SO SENSITIVE? Jeez. They should stop being so irrational and hysterical and look at the situation properly. Pull themselves together.

that’s not funny gella

SAY YES TO DRUGS AND PIZZA