moonkitty
moonkitty
moonkitty
Apr 8 2017
23

I’m 5'9", which is the average height for an American make across all races. I can’t exactly do the ones that involve the top of the frame in a standard door. If you include women this is useless for between half and three quarters of the population.

Nov 2 2016
32

Everytime I try that ‘relax’ trick, the phrase ‘don’t do it’s comes echoing from the back of my skull.

Oct 13 2016
11

FYI: The reason that you can’t smile in your drivers license photo is so that if you die, it’ll be easier for authorities to match your dead face to your ID when they find your corpse. Since all of your muscles relax when you die, you won’t die smiling. Read more

Jul 19 2016
143

Twightlight Sparkle is an Alicorn. I regret that I know more about My Little Pony than I do about the Kardashians or Taylor Swift.

Jun 19 2016
42

Just because you enjoy eating tofu and veggies 24/7 does not in any way mean the rest of us are in the same boat. Given that, why would you expect this site to only cater to your bullshit?

Jun 16 2016
63

Don’t be a hater. Just because you don’t understand how to synergestically reach out to grow a sea change for an empowermentally charged exit strategy in app development doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t recognize the new normal of disruptive innovation at this granular level.

May 24 2016
6

As a woman who has never been comfortable walking or wearing heels, you are the woman I look at and wonder “How the hell??” Seriously even at weddings after just 1 hour my shoes have to come off. So uncomfortable. I don’t even bother at work, I have an extensive collection of flats.

May 21 2016
11

Couldn’t find the full version of this scene (goes on a bit longer), but this is what I think of when I see something like this.

Mar 13 2016
30

I wonder if there is another method for making coffee. An automatic method where water drips over the coffee grounds into a carafe. Read more

Jan 7 2016
30

You don’t know what you’re talking about. I hate you from reading this comment you have left. If you could see my body language right now, you would get the feeling that I’m repulsed, saddened, and horrified from the way I have bent myself into a pretzel while sobbing and spanking my own ass at the same time. Email, Read more

Sep 14 2015
781

I’ve heard of getting in touch with your roots, but this is ridiculous.

Aug 24 2015
101

I call bullshit on calling HR. Unless it’s sexual harassment, HR is borderline useless and will not keep anything confidential. Read more

May 25 2015
12

Yeah. God forbid you have to walk the same ground other people’s bare feet have touched. With your shoes on. THAT IS JUST TOO GROS. Read more

May 8 2015
4

Or, do like Alton Brown says, and don’t use a spring form pan, use a cake pan and put it in a water bath and bake the cheesecake. Read more

May 7 2015
10

Whoever has ice cream in their freezer for more than a few days, needs their head examined and to invite me over.

May 3 2015
4.2K

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.