I often play the role of Heavy Woman on Vibrating Machine. Awww yeah.

Oh, Miley, you give a million Fs. Please.

He leans good.

What you said, deal with it. I feel sometimes injured by perfumes/colognes that people wear because...what? did you shower in it or swim some aftershave laps? But so be it. As an asthmatic I find perfumes have rarely provoked an attack (unlike mold or kittens which both have for me) and I keep my inhaler on me. …

It doesn't decimate it because nearly everything in existence is an allergin to someone. Its basically a "no shit" statement that someone out there is allergic to said thing whether you're talking about smoke, cats, bees, etc. Just because people are allergic to said object does not mean that object is inherently…

you're mental. miley cyrus smoking pot in AMSTERDAM where it's perfectly legal has NOTHING to do with your asthma. it's not "wrong" because you have asthma. I'm an atheist and the only thing I can think to say to you is "Jesus Christ"

yeah that won weirdest comment ever about pot for me.

I vocally berate anyone who has not seen it, regardless of age. That and the Big Lebowski.

My husband has the same attitude, however I wish my response could be as fab as yours. Instead, I'm hurt (sometimes deeply, depending on where my hormones are that day) that he seems to have no opinion on my looks at all. I have managed to train him, over 6 years, to at least tell me my hair looks good after a trip to…

It's Christmas come early! I'm putting on the John Denver Muppets album and drinking all the cocoa! Fa la fucking la!!!

If I could say one thing to your boyfriend it would be "careful! there are plenty of guys out there who care greatly about your gf's hair: short, medium, or long. I'd start paying attention asap if I was you".

+1 for 'Dan Hedaya's pube clippings'...

When I come home newly-shorn (I like to grow it out lonnnng then chop it pixie-short) I *always* get the hottest sex ever. Like, in the front hall now-now-now sex. And that's after 19 years of marriage. Confidence is sexy to secure men, and ain't no confidence like chopping off 12" of hair.

So create a fake google+ account to go with that screenname! I'm confused how this stops anonymous commenting.

My grandmother used to say that when you couldn't think of anything nice to say about a frightfully ugly baby, you said "Now THAT'S a baby!" Because then you don't have to lie when you're expected to say something.

Because it's a chance to shit on women. Are they covering the endless disgusting shit that Redditors and 4Chan users say all day fucking long? No, but some casually catty comments about ugly babies coming from women is news.

All your babies are belong to ugly.

Babies are assholes. It's only fair.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN.