Lin-Manuel Miranda is just absurdly talented. I sat behind Jennifer Lawrence at Hamilton and it was the best day of my life.

That’s no excuse for the article using the word migrant, repeatedly, as though that’s what he actually said, which he did not, in fact, say.

How many thinkpieces would there be if, say, Jameis Winston took a trophy that way?

I once had a dream that I was in this enclosed water slide but one that went on for miles. And I’m not sure how but it was very sexually gratifying in the dream.

reoccurring celebrity sex dream with Nathan Fillion

Alex Trebek. We were going to town, sweaty and frantic and he kept yelling, “Who is....your daddy?” over and over again like they phrase it on Jeopardy. Suddenly he pulled out and I was standing naked in front of the studio audience, crying.

Hold up... I thought Lucas got bought out. She killed him? I mean, I didn’t like the prequels either, but that seems harsh, Carrie.

Miami is the best place I have ever been. The Colombians, Cubans, Brazilians, Haitians, Argentines: I was there for three weeks and made tens of lifelong friends. Taxi drivers invited me home to drink Cuban coffee with three generations of family. Check it out, again, Mara.

Per Billy Eichner’s tweet; to everyone who utters the cop-out “There’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans, so why bother?”. Just look at the GOP candidates responses “We’re praying”. The Democrats say “let’s fucking do something!”

Not gonna lie, but if that’s how frats would normally haze folks, it’d be a much better world.

Now there’s a person who needs to put out a lip kit and by put out a lip kit I mean smash his into my face so hard

Just don’t put them in guacamole.

Yeah, those mannish “girls next store...”

For my entire life, my mother has pointed out how crooked my nose is (obstensibly because the doctor had to use forceps to pull me out at birth). I’m over 50 now and I can still see it, especially if I tilt my head up a bit. I have been self conscious about it since forever, and give it credit for why no one ever…

Please stop roasting my goddamned shoes. This is not current but I read these tweets today for the first time and it’s my new favorite thing. I would like to spread the joy.

Although knowing that the song is about several men actually makes the lyrics make more sense to me. Because she dated a bunch of self-absorbed celebrities, and they probably all thought that song was about them individually. But they’re actually just one giant cliche. Dime a dozen.

Oh just you watch her! No one puts Baby in a corner, and no one tells Carly Simon what she can’t do!

I trust my dude. I KNOW there are some women who would go all the way there if he gave any leeway in that direction. However, he’s respectful and trustworthy so I don’t worry about it. Overall though, I think it’s better not to nurture those friendships because cheating doesn’t happen in an “all of a sudden” type way.…

With incredible pea-ness?

Not touching anything else on your plate?