I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

I gather that when you are an adult you are not allowed to be excited about anything ever. Thanks Mindy.

“Explain the appeal of Jess Mariano without going into looks”

i believe what he is saying is that god sent the iceburg to punish man for transitioning from an agrarian economy to a manufacturing economy

Imagine a cop did this to your kid. In fact, imagine anyone did this to your kid.

Nothing more American than exploited workers protesting in defense of their abusive employers because the desperation of our economy has mind-fucked them into Stockholm Syndrome. Welcome, immigrants, you have assimilated in the most important way.

you go to a sex/couples therapist and deal with it like adults instead of lying to get what you want.

Let’s hope that comedian doesn’t have lady bits. Tina Fey had been talking about Cosby for years.

Love her. Love the lips, the bone structure. The way she normAlly stays the fuck out of the limelight ? But Jesus what do I know. I'm only a very drunk person who though it a good idea to Jezebel before bed.

Dude, wtf. You get the Sacko for life.

I want to place a bet that Barack “No Fucks” Obama smokes a cigarette during his next State of the Union.

Didn’t Lindy try those and say they tasted like clown jerky?

THIS IS EVERYTHING.

Your opinion about candy corn is bad and you should feel bad!

Candy corn is amazing.

Dear Jezebel,

I feel very similarly to this about those feet shoes.

Google Images is rich and abundant. Well, it had two.

The real question we all want answered: How drunk were you Saturday?