Reminds me of my tendency to mutter "Free kid!" when seeing a lone child running around in public. I assume that their parents are nearby and hopefully hear me, presenting a potential fear of other people. Maybe they'll get the idea to watch the little fuckers they feel the grave need to take out near other people...

Kind of reminds me when old people started getting voicemail machines. I would hear those "How do I hang these things up? Do I just put the phone on the receiver? Harold? Are you even listening to me? We're getting a f***ing divorce, you s***. You never listen to me! *click*"

If your's was as small as mine, you'd want someone to look at it, too, and tell you WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO IT???!!!

Thank you for this. The topic was just too perfect not to post it!

In other news, you must fill up your tires with air so that they stay inflated...

... or ...Candy?

I'm pretty much thinking the same thing. Many of these "new" features are just becoming convoluted and confusing in the current iOS interface. If I still had an iPhone, I have a feeling a user manual refresher would be in order.

You spelled "Gob the Illusionist" wrong...

Something about evolution, symmetrical faces, and the semantic cues in our genetic phenotypes that represent biological superiority.

100% agree. It's like listing ingredients in some food item to someone with a peanut allergy and forgetting to mention that it includes peanuts. Ok, that may be a tad drastic, but sometimes that's how I feel. Also, if someone's going to try and lay out an obscure reference to something, they should probably know…

Seriously, thank you for clarifying. Metal genres are an easy area to get confused in, but an important one to those that care.

Casey, you still go to the movie theater? Quit feeding them ammo!

First, you're wrong. Second, there's a repetitive "system," one followed by a random exclamation point. These are then followed by a fragment. Finally, the "never" in the last sentence should be "ever." Actually, that whole last sentence should be rewritten into something coherent, anyway...

Kind of what I was thinking... Red obviously means you have to put your last match on that part of the blocking stone for it to unlock... Then wind behind that stone. I'm sure water and earth will follow shortly after. Then we'll find what's truly in that pyramid!

Ok, you know it's a good sign when there are 20 degrees of separation between Gary Busey and Philosophy...

Ok, so three caught my attention: The camera taking a picture of the now non-existent person (this is pure creativity), the one with the guy with a missing family, and of course the masturbation one.

It's supposed to happen at 6 p.m. local time. Yes, that's right, Jesus observes time zones...

It sounds like you may be sitting on a couple of Mosin Nagants?

Ok, two things: saying sensationalist and Fox News in the same comment is redundant; and second, thank you for attempting to bring logic to this article. However, none of that is allowed, so you can GTFO.

I'm surprised this "genius" didn't attempt to hand out a pad of paper and a pencil and tout it as the revolutionary device they spent the grant on. I love empty justifications: My boss recently bought the new MacBook Air because the "old" MacBook Air he was running was "too old" and didn't "run properly" with our…