Or Christian Slater's puffy-faced alcoholic brother.

It's like he's slightly younger Gary Busey.

Christopher Hitchens was a good reporter and writer, not just a whiskey sponge, but whatever.

Yeah, it's odd that we have to translate "giving an unwanted blow job" in our heads. Wait, what is an unwanted blow job?

This study was funding by Team Ninja.

I just want to thank you for sharing your perspective. It's really important for people who have actual experience with guns who also support gun control to speak up.

Can someone please explain to me why we take Driving While Intoxicated seriously, but we don't have a law specifically prohibiting Operating a Firearm While Intoxicated? Seriously, I've yet to hear any explanation on why this is a thing we can't do that doesn't boil down to "THEM DURN LIB'RALS GUN TAKE AWAY URRR…

The pastor at our church recounted the story of a fellow pastor who actually taught gun safety for years, but was killed when a shotgun fell off a shelf at his cabin and went off. There is no such thing as a "safe" gun. People take a calculated risk when they bring them into their homes: for me, it's not worth it. For…

Everyone's a responsible gun owner until the moment that they aren't. And then it's too late.

Don't know how well the text is gonna show up on these once Kinja converts them, but hopefully they'll be readable.

Yup, and just wait till we get all the crowing about how this shouldn't be used to punish "responsible gun owners". As if these two morons wouldn't have been the exact responsible gun owners the NRA wants to protect until the moment after the gun accidentally went off. "Responsible gun owners" often seem like…

It's all fun and games until she crushes you with her super-powerful thighs of steel.

It's not 'the Greek system' unless it was invented in Greece. By Greeks. It's not 'Greek life' unless it takes place in Greece.

This looks like it was written by Charlie Kelly after a couple remedial writing workshops...

I don't have access to any emails from all those years ago (years upon years ago), but I do have some pretty hair-raising sorority hazing tales from back then I'd be happy to share, even though I swore an oath not to, but seeing as though they kicked me out for... well, I'll hold off unless there's a soul alive even…

What is it with these letters? They are all written in the style of, I'm going to start out really slow and sweet and then I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE UP 300 NOTCHES AND FUCK SHIT BITCH ASSHOLE WHORE SLUT COCKGOBBLER and then I'm going to bring it back down because we're still cool and you understand that I'm bat shit, so…

I don't have much sympathy for anyone dumb/needy/lonely/desperate to be included enough to willingly join such an obvious group of assholes.

You know, I bet Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty alright in real life.

I think a great deal of these guys' problems is that they are not getting laid and therefore blame women for it instead of their dumbass selves.