I’ve been parked in the #fyrefestival tag on Twitter like Ivanka’s petty neighbor.

“Spreadsheets, motherfuckers” are truly words to live by.

I had no idea this existed until this weekend, and now I’m so glad I do

Don’t apologize Bella, after a tough week at work, sitting on my patio, sipping wine and reading obsessively about the Fyre festival has really made my weekend.

Jeff didn’t out Zeke as transgender to a national audience, the producers of Survivor did that.

I have an ass that won’t quit expanding, does that count?

I wish people who bray about their “hotness” would realize that just because you personally decide you’re hot, it doesn’t mean you’re hot. The Gold Standard of Hotness, if I may be so bold as to point it out, is the OKCupid A-List Attractiveness Filter “You Have Been Rated: Hot” email, which I received from the…

Surely there are some children out there you should be thinking of.

I was literally just at Dubai Mall, and, during the call to prayer, hijab-wearing women didn’t skip a beat and kept looking at clothing at H&M.

Could you be anymore clueless? Most high end fashion designs are purchased by these women who you deem unable to showcase the clothing. Sheehs, your American is showing!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moza_bint_Nasser

THANK GOD there’s a Western woman here to remind us what Arab women should be finding important in their lives.

Didn’t vote for Trump, actively campaigned for Hillary, and am on Obamacare with subsidized payments. I’m sorry you see my health as collateral damage. The “who cares, it’s not me” mentality is what got us in this mess in the first place.

It says that you are an intelligent, observant member of the commentariat.

“Trump has no ties with Russia”

At least elements of the Justice Department will actually investigate before the higher ups neuter the report.

“You understand me, old boy.”

I’m always partial to You are My Sunshine as a lullaby, and the alphabet song as a timer for brushing teeth. But as a general rule (and for my sanity) I don’t really play/sing nursery songs to my kids during the day, am I a terrible parent

The Page Six story suggests you might be in the majority.