What was so damning about those emails is that she has a vagina.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it’s cold as hell. And there’s no one there to raise them. If you did.

NEW AND IMPROVED TRUMP: NOW WITH LESS FACTS.

Well done. Coming in second is “well-educated woman with an opinion that I don’t want to have sex with.”

The same. Because they are dumb.

Prepare for someone to earnestly explain how this is all her fault with bonus Bernie would have won guarantees.

Here you go, for a touchstone:

I dunno guys I’m just thankful we didn’t end up with that AWFUL woman with her EXTREMELY conflict-filled AAA-rated life-saving CHARITY as president though, right?

Every headline relating to Trump is like reading an Onion headline out of context. You do a double take, read it again, and then you realize it’s a joke.

Except it’s not, and then you just scream internally forever.

They cling to their guns and religion and we end up with a circus peanut for President.

Sunday Roast is fucking hysterical. Not sure if was an intentional typo, but it is the first out loud laugh I’ve had in a long while.

Will Leah Remini’s truth bombs blow up Scientology

How about Mark Burnett stages the inauguration as a mashup of his programs? Trump is dropped into an actual shark tank that’s on a desert island and he screams until his voice is gone and we see if he’s a survivor.

I’m already representing his penis in its future lawsuit against him for negligence.

“so that they won’t write tell-all books about the nefarious inner workings of his campaign”

And thank god the swamp is going to be drained...............to make it easier for the creatures who live in it to see their money.

The man is 93. Does he really need to be spending his last hours on earth “securing meetings between Trump campaign staffers and Taiwanese representatives, inviting a Taiwanese delegation to the Republican National Convention and taking Taiwanese representatives on a White House tour,” all for some chunk of…

Thank god we dodged that HRC Corruption bullet guys

• Wants to ban an entire religious group from entering the country.