This. What did this girl do to the Internet gods to deserve a bad picture at the bottom of every fucking website? Has anyone ever clicked on this link? WHAT DOES DONALD NOT WANT US TO KNOW ABOUT HER?

Tiffany,

“Tiffany is a tremendous young woman with a big and beautiful heart. She was always a great student and a very popular person no matter where she went. I am incredibly proud of Tiffany and how well she has done. — DJT.”

Ted talks are great.

It’s so luxurious, you wouldn’t believe what people are saying about this stocking cap, I sent the best people to find my cap, they tell me this is the longest one anywhere, anywhere in the world you can’t find a better one than this, I was in China and other Asia and I see the stocking caps they have there, everyone…

I love this because I imagine that he was just tossing and turning in bed seething about this and then finally leaped up, cast aside his absurdly long stocking cap, and tweeted this out before collapsing back into bed.

No one’s as irrationally confident in their looks as fat white dudes. Like, they’re always the loudest critics of other people’s looks, particularly women’s.

So his entire article translates to men are stupid chauvinists who won’t hire women if they can help it so the best thing for women to do is erase and obscure your gender so that the menfolk will give you equal consideration? Also diversity but not really?

They simply do not commit. Kids these days.

We’re getting closer and closer to my dream scenario: Donald Trump hosts a reality show to find his next campaign manager.

Instead of meals, eat snacks. Twelve almonds a day, one every hour or so, and then spend the other twelve hours sleeping to take your mind off the gnawing hunger in your gut.

I feel like an inadequate mother now

I do it during job interviews.

...But, like, the straps are bedazzled in “gold” and “diamonds.”

Yes, the “really mean ads” that use his own quotes. It’s so delicious.

It really blows my mind where we can have a successful tv show with openly gay characters and now a transgender character and yet we have Trump neck in neck with Hillary. It seems very incongruous.

“Can you believe how many shitty airports I’ve had to hang out in that don’t even have caviar and hooker service? Why isn’t THAT a campaign issue, I ask you?”

Always an Adele, never a Dazeem