Malcolm McDowell took quite a physical beating in Clockwork Orange, what with the scratched cornea during the Ludivico treatment, near-drowning by his after the breathing apparatus in the water trough failed, and a few cracked ribs from an insufficiently pulled kick. Pretty sure Vincent D’Onofrio didn’t have a great…

I had to beat it to death with two separate element blockers before it went away. Glad we’re advertising it.

I’m not inherently a fan of the American Medical Association, but I wish they’d try coming down on him like a ton of bricks, especially where people in need of psychiatric care are involved.

My preferred memory of her: as a 20-year-old discovered local (Houston) talent by Robert Altman, with a pre-Harold and Maude Bud Cort, in Brewster McCloud.

Remember: “Doctor” stands for doctorate in psychology, not a medical doctor, and his license in Texas lapsed years ago; I’m not sure that he’s licensed anywhere right now.

Local Man Likes Local Team

BEGIN THE AUKERMAN SHOW TRIALS

I live my life by Brett Gelman’s teachings, and eagerly await his next dispatch for right living.

Well at least we know that no reliever will ever win the award ever again, what with Britton finishing with basically a perfect season.

I look forward to all the cricket stories this will spawn

Jesus shit, let Bravo die

The Sports Story at the End of the Universe

Thank God we’re finally going to take down that son of a bitch Tony Bennett, this will almost make up for a reactionary sociopath getting elected while Bravo reality shows watched by literally tens of hundreds are being fully dissected.

It’s true, there are NFL teams that do well on draft day and teams that don’t.

I love the piping-hot “Well, GMs in the NFL will take this rank disloyalty into account come draft day” take-- as if they would ever give a flying fuck (and probably would give bonus points for that player’s commitment to a pro career).

Maybe our cricket team will be better

I can’t wait until they meet the Warriors in the Finals, I mean I guess they have to since apparently they’re the only two NBA teams

(runs for US Senate in 2030, loses to Elizabeth Warren, Jr.)

I’m still waiting for him to Executive Produce the movie about roving gangs of Boston toughs who fuck up Vietnamese immigrants in the 80s

Fuckin’ cricket, man