It never gets old.

escaped Ohio, working on escaping the Midwest!

I feel sort of bummy if I go out and don't wear makeup. Not that I look ugly, just that my face doesn't match my clothes/hair/wherever it is I'm going. That being said, I pretty much always do my make up the same. The only difference is that I might do slightly more eye shadow than usual or a cat eye if I'm trying to…

But FACT, they have the SLOWEST drivers. I got a ticket for failure to use turn indicator last time I was there. The first time I have ever heard that one issued. Add to that I do not even live in state, so I guess I will just drop that check right in the mail....

Skyline chili is a truly wonderful thing! Gimme a 5-way, with extra oyster crackers.

That and Ted Drewes are the only thing I miss about my time there. Provel and the Cardinals can both take a long walk off a short pier.

I'm from Cincinnati and still live here, so it does sting lol, but idk, it's not for everyone. I accept that.

Compared to St. Louis, Kansas City genuinely IS the Garden of Eden.

The trick is subtlety, Friend. Pearl digging can be 'SEXY' when you make it look like you are flipping/letting down your hair. Wink when you 'flick'. #protip

'Digging for pearls' on your scalp? A cousin to 'Pore Foresting'.

I hold full, out-loud, long conversations by myself, pretending I'm a guest on WTF with Marc Maron. Sometimes I politely argue with him; sometimes we battle; sometimes I just charm him with my stories and wit. It's intensely self-indulgent and embarrassing and I love it. I would DIE if someone overheard me. I have a…

Oh, the joys of solitary smoking. I haven't had one in twenty years. I used to start the day by making a double espresso on the stove and smoking a cig. It was glorious. Smoking while driving alone, smoking while talking on the phone, smoking while playing guitar, smoking while sitting on your front steps and…

I'm recently divorced and living alone for the first time ever. It's AMAZING. My ex husband was super critical and I am experiencing freedom like I've never known.

Maternal Age at Conception with one's own eggs.

I got it to turn periwinkle and brown but that's all I'm getting!!!

but what about ponyboy?

Gendered baby clothes make me so damn annoyed. Someone asked me if my son was a girl. It was not upsetting - because he's a baby and it is impossible to tell just from looking at him unless he's naked. I don't think that a person not knowing his gender during infancy is going to do a damn thing to his psyche.

I fucking hate those headbands!

Personally, I think it's refreshing to see a baby girl without the overload of pink screaming FEMALE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS! Neutrals on a baby is perfectly fine. Bullet proof vests on babies seems more necessary than the godawful frilly headbands so many mothers on my FB news feed insist on placing on the heads of their…