Time to dust off the old alternate headline roundup:

Well, now it will have a dent in the bottom corner of the bumper. Cant be too many Camrys out there with that!

“HI, PHIL SWIFT HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE MAGIC OF FLEX SEAL!”

The whole concept of “keys” is a capitalist abomination.

It might be time to start making wheel locks a standard part of car ownership, huh?

I guess the customer ordered runs in the paint. 

I was half expecting the project Binky guys in that photo.

For years I’ve insisted they should at least put a row of NBA players, including Shaq, on the edge of the mat so they can wild the fuck out ay time  Biles or Raisman does something nutz.

I wish she’d done that at an And1 gymnastics meet so they could’ve stopped the performance and had the crowd rush the mat with everybody going “OHHHHAAHHHH!!” and the on-floor MC yelling “IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER!! SIT DOWN RUSSELL WESTBROOK!!” and the whole thing dissolving into delirious chaos

Hi Kristen, I’m not trying to tell you how to do you job. But this article is supposed to be about the C8 Corvette. And there is a little too much Silver Rings and not enough Vette. Can you put in a performance and price comparison and something else? Yeah. That’d be great m’kay?

Sounds great, came 6 years too late.

So if the drivetrain moves to the rear does the Camry’s dent move to the front?

God damn I wish I could huff aerosols at my job.

What you say: Toyota should make a mid-engine Camry.

What Toyota hears: We need more fake vents.

They did cancel them, the workers went back to putting the notch at a completely random point on the dipstick.

“Wow, amazing. NONE of the Citroen trucks lasted more than 3,000 miles and they all failed catastrophically! Congrats on the sabotage.”

And, with BMW eliminating dispsticks in favor of electronic level sensors in the late 2000s, the Germans have been able to turn around and play the same trick on many unsuspecting owners!

Take your star.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo