There's an alternate timeline where I didn't get married and have kids where I had the time to devote the last 10 years of my life to playing EVE Online.

I spent hours and hours playing Ireland and managed to unite the island as king (one of the easier goals). Tried a couple other start points and just couldn't get anywhere and gave up.

"This is going straight to my thighs. …and since I don't have any thighs, I can keep eating!"

I went to the March for Science in DC with some fellow science friends. Despite the rain, it was a good turnout and a good time. I was decked out in my hiking gear, so I stayed warm and dry through 5 hours of wet…because of science! Gortex is the bomb.

I've been too busted up from coughing to do any yardwork, so need to get on that now that I'm finally on the mend.

The new New Pornographers.

And the studios are all a bunch of shortsighted cowards afraid to take a chance on an original concept!!

I love their optimism, but I doubt there will be a UK to tour by November.

Will they sign my cassingle?

If you're using the free service, you get what you pay for.

It looks like it wants to latch onto my face and implant music deep in my torso.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to wear this raw tuna hat.

Huh, I've been to a couple meetups with Shulkie, and when she ordered a "Bloody Mary" the server brought her a bucket of chum with a lady's hand sticking out. You may be onto something.

It will be called Learing with Norman

Jason Alexander is definitely trying to fuck me in that promo photo.

As god as my witness, I thought lemmings could fly.

Fake! That kangaroo on the Planet Earth casting couch claims it's her first time on film, but she was in a PouchHub video like a year ago.

TELL ME MORE OF THIS HU-MAN THING CALLED "EMPATHY."

That's what it says on my tattoo!

I didn't even know who these guys were until the last Newswire about them told me why I should hate them.