I can't wait to see this

It's bourbon.

I'm sure that's the beginning of some erotic fan fic, right?

Remember when Machete was going to be her big comeback, like Rodriguez was going to be the Tarantino to her Travolta?

*banishes Something Something Obscure to Phantom Zone for that joke*

I went 9 months once. This was when I was with Mrs Lint, but we weren't living together yet. I shut off my cable to conserve money and reduce distractions, wiped games from my had drive. So I could focus. And yet I couldn't tell you what I did in that time. It was just the black hole, a chunk that is just straight up…

I successfully hid out during our entire lab safety inspection. Now nothing can be blamed on me.

"You merely adopted I-95. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see open blacktop until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!"

Shaking with silent laughter at that goddamn tomato.

Good thing they didn't arrest him or he might be Gone 'Till November.

Although if properly assembled, the Italian cold cut sub is the only edible thing in there. Tomato, pepper relish, black olives. Travels well, even improves over time squashed flat at room temp. Good for road trips and flights.

I need an adult!!

Bobby Hill got hardcore in his old age.

All the people who really, really loved Avatar have died off from starvation while plugged into janky homebrewed VR setups or toxic reactions to Dollar Store blue body paint.

There are 680 known skeletal muscles in the human body, yet Liefeld was able to discover almost a hundred more. Where's his Nobel prize in medicine?

Clearly he's gone mad from Icy Hot poisoning.

My top 3

Sesame Street’s Newest Muppet Has Autism But Not Measles

He can only hold back the bloodlust for so long…

I've seen something like this already, but I'm willing to watch a deconstruction of their music One More Time.