They probably took all those 4" cheap wooden and/or marquee-light individual letters and lined them up on a Nate Berkus end table to spell out NEED HELP PLESE CLL POLICE (the A’s were likely out of stock).

One time I was shopping for a baby shower gift at target. There was an obviously fucked up and very smelly man in the baby section and this mother fucker like passed but me unnecessarily close and came just shy of probably groping me. Thank god those target employees and the local PD were on it that day because the…

I laughed at the headline, too!

Still nope.

You mean, they can discover that there nearly as many ludicrously conservative Korean Christians as there are Americans? And that many megachurch practices in the states are straight up imported from the ginormous churches here in Seoul?
Finding out about their Asian heritage can be a fun trip to an even more…

He once forced a family of 6 – and their inlaws – to visit a Dairy Queen at gunpoint.

I did as well, and my next thought (after the going-to-hell thought) was “how is this perpetrator not from Florida?” This story has a very “Florida Man” vibe.

Yeah but think of it: you’re kidnapped and scared shitless with your family and you’re trying to flag down an unsuspecting employee to get help. But you have to be discreet so when you finally find one, you have to somehow communicate with them without the kidnapper being in ear/eyeshot. That would be trouble enough,…

In all seriousness, I’m a vendor that does a fair amount of work in Target, and the employees I’ve dealt with would be the sort that would pick up the clues and take action.

When I was in college a couple of athletes failed a drug test and claimed they were held at knife point by a homeless person who made them smoke crack with him.

Of course it wasn’t a Walmart.

You know that fucker was making them buy name brand.

I’m surprised they found an employee at all.

How does that conversation with the employee go? “Excuse me, miss? We’re being forced to shop here against our will PLEASE CALL 911! Miss? MISS?!”

I laughed too I know I shouldn’t have.

I grew up 30 min away and no, that’s all I think about too.

That’s so odd. I’ve never been to Texas, but I immediately think Branch Dividians and fireball when I hear Waco.

They supposedly belong to an independent Christian church that makes the Southern Baptist Church look progressive. Chip also went to Baylor which is the opposite of liberal (they okayed dancing on campus in the 90s I believe). I have way too many Southern Baptist cousins including some that are missionaries and…