Which is even worse. Why do I want to use a bank that is bad at fractions?

It’s fifth third, not third fifth 😉

Yeah but what’s her AIM away message?

Fuck Perez Hilton.

I would watch that movie. Tim Gunn needs to be in it somewhere, preferably as the well-dressed, incredibly polite assassin-for-hire. *Holds up fabric shears* “Never fear, Brothers, I’ll make it work.”

Putin was disguised as alligator.

“It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” Dolly Parton.

And this is pure speculation on my part, but I believe the International Brotherhood of Tailors have *at least* blacklisted this cankersore of a human, if not actively sought his death at the hands of mercenaries.

He went to go golfing on his golf course. Because it did not matter.

I liken it to the Lena Dunham syndrome. They feel entitled to everyone’s attraction despite it not being the most flattering looks for them. But it is always YOUR problem not theirs.

So a man goes over to another man who he believes raped a woman and still congratulates him. FUCK ALL THESE ASSHOLES and fuck the patriarchy. I hope Trump will be the one to kill it once and for all.

I have a brother-in-law who styles men for a living. Quite a few of his regular clients are dowdy white business men. In the last year he said everyone of them have confessed a terror of looking as unprofessional as Cheetolini. One guy threw out his entire wardrobe of slacks because he realized they gave him…

I am always amazed at how poorly his clothes fit. I’m not shaming him for his body shape, I’m just confused. We know he’s a man who cares a lot about his image. We know he’s a man who claims to have buckets of money. Why does he always look like he’s dressed himself from the clearance rack at Sears?

I, for one, find Mariah’s chaos enthralling. Better luck next time, Mimi, and even if not, it’ll still be interesting.

I dyed my hair pink tonight!

SERIOUSLY. “Oh, you don’t love me anymore? I guess we should commit to a lifetime of resentment and unhappiness simply so you don’t have to pull the cord.”

I’m pissed at this dude for making it your problem what to do after he tells you that shit. What the fuck?! If he was any kind of person, he would have said he wants to break up instead of making you do it. I’m so fucking sorry, babe. What a pisser.

I’m so sorry. That fucking sucks. May 2017 bring you liberal amounts of booze, good sex (in or out of a relationship), and opportunities to pet more dogs.

I’ll be drinking alone in the dark as usual since my daughter is over at a friends houe, I am switching up the liquor this year.

As I was getting my red beans into the crockpot this morning, I went to sit on the couch, missed entirely, fell hard right in the floor on my ass, thigh, knee, and ankle, knocking the breath out of myself. I laid in the floor, gasping for air, and my fiance thought I’d killed myself. He picked my ass up out of the…