Considering the parent, I’m going with “stupid”.

Kanye has gone full step-and-fetch house negro to try to secure the drunk frat bro / sorority girl cash flow.

Oh nooooo! But...but at his age, this means he’ll probably die in prison!

I’m picturing Ted Levine shouting “put the pizza in the fucking basket!”

“spent much of the time at the academy because of low test scores”

I deliver food. This conversation is SO CLOSE to the real problem it pains me.

She must’ve been white.  She talked shit to a COP and STILL LIVED to tell about it.

Hopefully they'll take her licence. People lacking that much common sense have no business on the road.

Man, if that’s the most depraved thing you’ve seen on PornHub, then God-bless you sweet child.

Don’t be beefing on my new protégé, MC Waify Waif.

I have a Mint, which is a rectangular, hard floor robot that you put swiffer wet or dry clothes on. I also have cats. I also live in Florida. The number of times that thing comes triumphantly out from under the couch pushing dried up lizard carcasses is off putting. But I love frogs and I’d have freaked if I witnessed…

Poor froggy. My brother ran over a whole nest of baby bunnies with a lawnmower once. Only one survived unscathed. He brought it into the house and put it in a box until he could decide what to do with it, and while he was cooking dinner his girlfriend’s cat ate it.

A few years ago I was following the saga of a friend of a friend on FB...she was carrying a laundry basket down the stairs and tripped and fell...and in a perfect storm of awfulness, she landed full-force on her face on uncarpeted stairs, having not let go of the basket to break her fall. She suffered a traumatic…

I got up at 5 am for Diana’s wedding, funeral, and for Megan’s wedding.

So we’re not allowed to have a bad day, not allowed to be inside our own thoughts, not allowed to mull over things seriously. Fuck this. I supposed everyone has to walk across campus like this to make their asses feel safe:

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

This is going to get to him bigly.  She could have written that his presidency is the worst thing to happen to America since 9/11.  She could have written that his wife is hideous looking and braindead.  She could have written that he is a grade-A asshole and dumber than a nutless squirrel.  She could have called his…

That’s kind of my point, like depression caused by a specific situation (whether it’s chronic pain, bereavement, financial stress, etc) makes more “sense” to us. But some people just suffer from depression, by itself, or depression paired with other hard-to-understand illnesses/conditions like anxiety, alcoholism,…

I have a question, and I deeply hope that I can articulate this in a way as not to seem like I’m trolling. Why is your husband angry at him? A deeply lovable but admittedly troubled celebrity took his own life. I understand that he has a young kid from his last marriage, and leaving a kid behind is very unfortunate.…

Heathcliff Huxtable being a “gynecologist” with his “office” in the basement of his home should have tipped us off that he had a sex dungeon that whole fucking time too.