More likely she just lit a cigarette, shrugged and said “Well Rihanna *is* pretty fit.”

Ryanne Lochté - I read it as Ryan Lochte

Only in puritanical America would a grown man being aroused by texts from a grown woman while lying next to a sleeping child be construed as that man’s sexual desire for his own son.

Here’s my top three:

Paul LePage, Maine governor, for being totally vile and seemingly impossible to get rid off.

That makes so much sense!! I was surprised by how funny he was for a while there, followed by wondering where the funny went. It's all so clear to me now.

I’m fairly certain they hired a team of writers for RR’s twitter to build hype for Deadpool, but now that’s run out so he’s trying to keep the magic alive alone.

Honestly, I feel like she’s living her best life. I hate the Tweets from Burning Man because I’ve been and I hate that they have wifi now and that everyone is huddled around their phones when it used to not be like that, but she’s doing her and I ain’t mad about about it.

There maybe. I’ve actually wondered why Paris doesn’t go into the family business. I actually think she may do well working for the hotels and being like the Brand Ambassador or something. Gives her relevancy and a reason to be in the press. A lot of these celebutants have great heads for business. Kim and Nicole…

Kim. Oh, honey. I also have psoriasis. I know psoriasis. And sweetheart, psoriasis is NOT your biggest flaw. It does suck, but for the love of the flying spaghetti monster, it is no where near this burden your are trying to pass it off as.

Indeed - how did she make him have a standoff with the cops?

How is getting him arrested for gun possession a scam? Not really understanding.

Argyle socks = cool. White knee highs = major side eye.

There are a lot of women her same age who liked her ten years ago and still aspire to her look. She could totally run a lifestyle brand, and it would be way easier to find stuff with sequins on it if she’d go for it.

I havr a friend who looks like ariana and does the same thing. We are in out fucking thirties. You dont have to wear white knee highs and mary janes to work.

I’m torn - on the one hand fuck yes, skin conditions are terrible and being able to just go with it is hard and it’s nice to see really visible celebrities be like IDGAF, but as someone who gets eczema on their face but still has to work or adult I’m not really feeling the #sobrave tone of the article.

not sure whats so ‘hmmmm’ about the rob thing. he’s been eating better and losing weight. thats how you cure type 2 diabetes if it’s caused by obesity

Hear me out because I mean this sincerely: if she could become a Lifestyle Expert as a Single Woman in her late-30s, she might actually have a viable business. She’s 35, unmarried and has no children. And maybe she’s been relatively under-the-radar for long enough that she could get a re-view from the public? I mean…

Paris might be the most paris Paris to ever paris.

I don’t think Flea’s judgment is going to have much impact on the Chinese businessmen and local government officials who make up the overwhelming majority of the world’s ivory purchasers. (And also drove the western black rhinoceros to extinction, because they think its horn will make their penises bigger. Fuck you,…