Dude, let me tell you: being a straight, middle-class, overly educated WASPy male is the tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits.

I for one, am glad that you guys called out the real evil here: Spike Lee’s unecessary use of Title Case. That Shit Is Too Hard To Read In Full Paragraphs, Spike!

Ummm, did anyone else love Danny Devito’s hot take?

I suspect Saba-tage. (PossibLee).

cuchi cuchi

Frankly, living through her VP candidacy gave me PTSD.

My mum made a deal with me that I would wait until I’d completed my School Certificate exams (uh, probably 10th grade is US terms? Like O Levels in the UK) before I did the deed with my high school boyfriend.

I’m going to make a tshirt that says “This Slut Right Here Is Catching Dick Left and Right” and wear it under all my clothes.

Just know that you have named my autobiography. “Catching Dick Left and Right: The LolaCat5 Story” will sell ALL the copies because of you.

“So, are you girls virgins? I can tell Julie is not because look at her exposed ankles. That’s the mark of a hussy. Put some clothes on Julie.”

No, but one day he might get eaten by a shark because he is a long distance ocean swimmer and I have left instructions with the sharks.

My first bf used to tell his friends to ‘see if you can get a blow job off her’ and then beat me for making him look bad and not doing it, or for being a slut and doing it.

Well, the law is the law. Unless Ted Cruz doesn’t like the law.

oh damn! good thing i have 8 layers of Spanx on! I’m impervious to stomach stabs!

You were the only thing propping up his campaign, Darleeeeeeeeeeeeeeene. It’s all your fault and he’s going to stab your belt buckle.

Think of it as an opportunity to raise the standard for the next generation?

Well, I kind a wish he could come and take away all the guns.

Amen, sister. Almost 32 and still baby-free, thanks to my fear of penises as a teenager, and a free supply of slut pills as an adult. THANKS OBAMA.

I think that if the above is worth noting, then it should also be worth noting that Ciara thought it was a good idea to have a baby with this idiot who has at least 3 other kids and baby mommas, and that she thought it was a good idea to name the poor child Future.

I hear the best way to win a legal custody battle is to bitch about it on twitter...