BECAUSE IT HOT IN ARIZONA SO OLD PEOPLE GO TO ICE PLACE TO MAKE BODYS COOL AND WATCH TEAM GO

“Unfortunately, I do not have the same aptitude for the written word, but if I did I can assure you that my tale would be about the most epic love story — ours.”

Olly’s going over that ramp like

This is full-blown doublespeak. This is not metaphor, this is not allegory, this is not a hyperbolic reference to dystopian literature. This is the government of the United States consciously and actively trying to completely subvert the public’s trust in media, mass communication, and language itself.

Of course they don’t turn into cameras.

My family had a JRT for many years, and I can tell you that this is exactly what I would expect if our little bundle of neuroses and energy were to go do an agility course. It is like the philosopher says: “If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”

My dog looks just like Ollie! We did an agility class and then did a course at a JRT trial. He was zooming right along and then flew past a jump. I got him to come back, but he almost went over it backwards, a DQ. So I threw my arms up, he stopped, and proceeded to take a shit. Also a DQ.

The surveillance showed nothing but hot pockets.

Are you absolutely sure, sir?

Man, imagine these guys announcing Cavs-Rockets. “Harden for three—no good. Ah, he couldn’ care less, he’s having a ball, loves life and exercise.” “Out of bounds, they’re reviewing to see who touched it last. Doesn’t really matter, does it.”

I can wear a nurt, I am an adult, I have EARNED THIS RIGHT!

Orrrrrr...

I am an old person, and this is a “dickey.” My schoolteacher aunt had them in all colors because she always wore jackets to work, and would not show an inch of chest skin, but frequently had hot flashes so she could not wear a full shirt.

Naked tits

THE UNITED STATES FLAG CODE
Title 4, Chapter 1

“have u ever wanted to play with a tampon going in n’ out of ur vag?”

Squirrelfrand, you can bet your sweet beThinx’d ass that I have not!

First kid comes in with Swag Level on Expert.

Do you know who these writers are? This is it. This is what they do all day on their own blogs. This is their best work.