That’s a very small piece of toilet paper for such a large piece of shit.

Meanwhile, inside the patrol car...

She is trash in fancy clothes. Can we please stop talking about her now? I swear to god, if a man was acting like this, Jezebel would’ve cancelled him already.

Just wanted to say: Sorry for all the concern trolling your getting for your wife’s drinking. It’s very weird. I was gonna to keep that comment to myself, but after seeing 1 more comment about it, I had to give you an internet pat on the back for “Sheesh really”

“Nature’s potato chip” is to shrimp tails as “Nature’s chewing gum” is to chicken cartilage.

I used to do this every now and then but it’s been a couple years at this point.. so for old times’ sake, here is a list I’ve compiled of some of my all time favorite Gwyneth Paltrow quotes from over the years:

I’ve always been told it’s for presentation. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine. Why should I have to get my hands dirty to pull off the tails before I dig into my plate of deliciousness?

You know what should get said more though? Fuck people in the rust belt. Fuck them. Both she and Donnie campaigned for two fucking years, and they’re going to base their vote on who flew into town more often? That’s how you vote? Based on who visited you, instead of some other Americans. You didn’t have all the…

haverchuck forever!

I actually strongly disagree, it’s one of the cereals that I think it only enjoyable with milk. It needs a minute or so just to slightly soften so you don’t cut your mouth on it.

She is in a show with a lot of other kids her age. She isn’t the only 14 year old in Hollywood.

This sounds exactly like something a predator would say

Dear Kinja-people. Please fix this. Kthxbye

I don’t mean this in a negative way, but are you <30 y.o.?

Why are tweets and ‘grams images clipped? Is it so the source material gets clicks (and Kinja references)? Just would like to know. Thanks.

If Roma Downey didn’t throw a punch and then yell, “You just got touched by an angel bitch!” she really missed a golden opportunity.

In the right situation I might cut somebody over the Zesty Sauce.

anyone else have issues on kinja with embedded instagrams either not appearing at all on mobile, or  appearing too wide and cutoff? i don’t see either of these. 

Does anyone else think it’s strange that their older brother is named “Jonathan Drew” and then their parents had twin boys and named them “Jonathan” and “Drew.” ? Cuz............

I’ve been in a similar situation to your brother, and uh, that “the courts were biased to mothers, I really tried” line is usually bullshit.