Or they were just, you know, sleeping at 3:20AM.

Never go on a game show! Never do it!

All Looney Tunes characters are T1 in my book. But the real reason I’m here is because my daughter has been absolutely furious with me since the day she says I ruined one of her favorite songs by telling her it sounded just like Elmer Fudd. Now she can’t hear it without thinking the same thing.

#MePew

Marvin the Martian not being at least in the top five is a crime against humanity, and I demand a swift and savage retribution against those responsible.

If this blog will not recognize Gossamer, I will not recognize this blog. Good day.

I don’t think your jokes are... nearly as witty as you think. It’s kind of cringeworthy.

I don’t see how the fact that the guy was “nice” earlier excuses what he did in the moment. The ball was clearly meant for the little kid. I don’t care if it was his first ball or his 50th. I don’t care if the guy saved 100 puppies on his way to the game. He interjected himself into a transaction that didn’t concern…

Probably just the ghost of an unvaccinated child.

“When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried Ariana Grande.”

Tangentially related, I’m still not really over Jermaine Clement.

*raises hand*

Can you.

Wut.

Getting hit in the face with a hot dog is the wurst.

technically its an incel phone

Yeah but he dislocated his shoulder pointing at which kid he wanted the nanny to feed.

“Not bad for a 40 year old dad of 5 who sits at a desk all week.”

In 1993 my mother was attempting to purchase a brand new Chevrolet Suburban. She insisted she wanted ‘barn doors’ in the back because she’s not very tall. Trying to utilize the storage capacity of the vehicle was going to be much harder with the standard option ‘fold out’ doors.

People who don’t follow the laws of capitalization.