Please tell me you worked at the tattoo shop and made sarcastic revisions to their request like a heart with “dick” instead of mom, a sign that said “entrance only” above their ass instead of exit only, etc.

Been stationed there and unfortunately among all the service branches the culture of the Marine Corps tends to be the least, shall we say, progressive? The Commandant of the Marine Corps (Conway) was the most vocal opponent of the repeal of DADT and open integration of gay service members, right now their brass are…

a New York Jew with a copy of the Times tucked into her bag.

THE HOUR BETWEEN ME FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS AND IT BEING REPORTED ON JEZEBEL WAS THE HARDEST HOUR OF MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I AM SURPRISED I AM EVEN STILL ALIVE.

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

Really fucking sick of Jezebel, of all places, calling this bullshit “sex.”

I have a reservation on the books this weekend for a girl named Jody and I keep referring to it as the Highroller party and nobody knows why. Please keep on with the Riff Raff tweets.

Riff Raff is my spirit animal. It's definitely my thing.

I thought people liked it! I thought it had become a thing! No?

What I’m getting out of this is that someone took Megan Fox on a tour of a power plant and told her it was the Great Pyramid of Giza.

I promise you I’m feeling very OK about this

Heard that, but we don’t have rights to those images. We have rights to the image I used.

Do you not see the woman who is also in the picture, and who is Hope Hicks?

Oh my god

“Hope Hicks” is also a key part of the RNC’s voter turnout strategy.

Nothing says star on rise like strolling through Flatbush in the fur jackets you borrowed from your mom.

godamn I am so fucking here for this. what memory lapse has he suffered that caused him to think he can come for her? oh that’s right he has a history of being a controlling piece of shit. move on, bro, she’s done with you.

I LOVE Nicki Minaj more and more every day. I don’t always agree with her, but I love how she is so unapolegetic. And I agree with her on this one, she is successful and he needs to let go of her coattails.

well...now I’ve heard of them?