Teehee. I just knew the sales would spike once white dudes from Anoka County, Minnesota figured out they wouldn’t be able to just nab one at the SuperWalmart. And that’s who be buying them shits the most: white yankees without ANY connection to South — nay, they are from the place that first offered troops to the…

um, no, wikipedia is amazing it’s like a collective stream of consciousness from everyone on planet earth I wish this was how all info was presented to me at all times.

I once edit an entry on wikipedia to win an online arguments as the other side refer to the said wikipedia entry as souce of his/her arguments.

I’ve tried that. Due to a medical condition called bigassitis and thickthighdiyah, going up a size means they fall down at the waist and still are too tight.

I’m not sure why I’m so invested in Jennifer and Ben’s marriage but I am and won’t believe anything until I hear their joint statement asking for privacy at this difficult time through their publicist.

I will never not think Timberlake is a douchebag.

Trying to decide whether I’d let that person operate on me or just surrender to the brain tumor.

I never get tired of this show. Ever. It’s clever and funny and weird and happy and I love it.

By “Blackface” do you mean “Medium spray brownbody”?

Miss Swift we are glad to see that you received our gift basket and that the mind control vitamin supplements are kicking in.

In Tanning Salon vouchers, obvs.

Organs.

Fellow Dolezal enthusiasts, I have a treat for you! It is a series of YouTube videos called “Rachel Dolezal (2014) talking about her experience as a ‘black woman.’”(Sorry I can’t link directly, I’m on my phone.) There are five videos, their total length is about 50 minutes, and they are GLORIOUS. Are they loaded with…

Rachel, sweetheart: you’re self-absorbed, you’re in love with the sound of your own voice, you steal things from black people and claim them as your own, and you tell black people what to think. I’d say QUITE A FEW things about being white describe who you are PERFECTLY. Shit, you sued Howard for reverse racism, which…

Shit happens when you forget to call.

How many of us can now identify with being cats, dogs, fish because we raise them?

I don’t know. I’m a white guy helping to raise a Rosemary plant. Are you saying I’m not half-delicious?

On a slightly related note: I have the tv on for background noise. I just heard a “woman caller” say “I am a feminist. Just ask my husband”??

Um, not for nothing, but both of those dudes are white and identify as such. So, yeah. Cultural Appropriators? Sure. Believes in transracial bullshit? Probably not.

I read this early this morning and had to go back and make sure it wasn’t actually satire. Hey rich jerks, if you want to garner sympathy, maybe don’t give an interview while you’re riding a FUCKING HORSE.