I forgot my keys today. Maybe that was God’s way of telling me I should run away and join the circus?

So clearly one of us has a reading comprehension problem, and given the number of people telling you you’re wrong, I’m betting it’s not me.

Back when we were struggling to conceive, I schooled an anti-choice acquaintance on why we couldn’t “just adopt” a baby (~$60K in fees, Guatemala closed its program, rejection from other international programs for my hearing loss and his Crohn’s, heartbreak over a state-side mom who changed her mind). She nodded her…

Don’t know if I want to pinch his cheeks or have him do my taxes. Probs both.

Her response is everything I dreamed it would be and more! Say what you will about my Nubian queen* Rachel Dolezal, but the woman is a bullshit artist of the first order.

For whatever reason I clicked on the Karrueche Tran/Chris Brown article, which contains this sentence:

They will have to pry my land line out of my cold dead hands.

Anytime someone writes #blessed, I want something terrible to happen to them. I don’t know why but I want all their dreams to be crushed. I think because it's so braggy?

Bob Costas was never “one of the good ones” I don’t think. He’s always been a self-righteous high minded love the smell of his own farts type.

Something tells me I'm going to get some weird looks when I ask to see the "plus sized mechanic" later when I go get my oil changed.

You all say that. Then you get all snippy about one late return...

Please, obviously you were in a paid arrangement with this old man, obviously he made the rules and you happily complied, but you also got A LOT from it. Color me shocked if you felt grossed out with yourself. HELLO, it’s what everyone thought.

Full disclosure: Zachary Braff actually just started a Kickstarter fund to get the Nigerian Prince his inheritance.

That was a brutal time. We were all forced to publicly rate our friends.

Yeah, but I’m 42 and think I’m 27. So most people don’t get my movie references because they are all “Mean Girls” and “Bring It On” and “Pitch Perfect”. I refuse to grow up; don’t judge me.

Was she a tough child to raise, mom Igloo?

As a liberal, I can confirm that our favorite activity (besides buying lobster with food stamps and having abortions) is child molestation. My family has a reunion every year just to make sure we all get a shot.

I completely agree. I had read soooo much about how awful dunham and the show is, but when I finally sat down and gave it a try to see what all the fuss was about, I ended up going through the first season all at once and loved it! Not saying everyone who dislikes it is wrong, cause we all have our opinions, but I…

I love how everyone automatically assumes that it's Lena Dunham who's crazy and insufferable and hard to work with, and not the other way around. This couldn't possibly be unconscious sexism, could it?!