That was really the icing on the cake.

Thin blue line and all that shit.  No surprises.

So, yeah, being black in america.  Still, can’t be mad at seeing a cop get treated the way they treat everyone else.

They all contract out for security. Actual cops won’t stand in one place for more than 5 min and there aren’t enough to go around anyway.

Point of information: less than half of child sex offenders are pedophiles and neither Kelly nor Epstein fit the bill. They like to prey on the vulnerable.

I doubt it. Kelly has used his fame to seduce underaged girls while Epstein threw money at the vulnerable, sometimes homeless.  Same end result but very different MO.

They were right, he’ll definitely be welcome addition to their rural Alabama speed trap and slave hunting force.  Points for honesty, at least.

Nonsense.  They won’t be mollified by anything we do so stop wasting your breath.  There are 100 million eligible non-voters in presidential elections, 200 million in other years.  Go get some of that.

We really have to round up white people until we can figure out just what the hell is going on.

Why do they always go small-ball on this kind of proposal? In the current housing market $25,000 is less than half the down payment.  This basically shove black home ownership into a redlined ghetto.

Nonsense. Those angry white people already vote at maximum; don’t waste time trying to mollify them.  We win by getting out our own vote.

This bill would provide that the definition of race for these purposes also include traits historically associated with race, including, but not limited to, hair texture and protective hairstyles, and would define protective hairstyles for purposes of these provisions.

Best opening sentence ever.

I wish I could say this is a surprise, but... I grew up in the east bay when SF started exiling all its racial and economic issues to Oakland. This is just another step in the gentrification project cities like this (lookin at you, Seattle) have been fantasizing about since the 90's.

Storm’s coming, everyone buckle up.

Exactly.  

Well, she is black in Alabama...  Time for The Onion to pack it in.

We been knew.

Like you said, traditional. I’d like to extend my congratulations to Melania Trump for so thoroughly adopting the whiteness of her adopted country. She is truly the model white immigrant so many crave.

She wouldn’t plead so they upped the charges.  Figures.