The primary critique will be the lack of swastika-related tattoos

To be fair, the sky gods cursed the Cubs fans first.

Black Rat Snake came to mind almost immediately... They get snuffed out all the time after being mistaken for copperheads.

When you mentioned he killed a copperhead, I was really hoping it was Carrot Top.

It could be he mistook another type of snake for a copperhead? And they were kind enough not to rub it in afterward, etc.

THANK YOU!

What kind of gott dang far-north nonsense is this? Just because you’re eating outside doesn’t make it a barbecue. Hush puppies? HUSH PUPPIES?! Those are delicious, but save them for a fish fry where they belong. A fish fry is not a barbecue.

Agreed with one exception. A good mayo slaw can cut that North Carolina BBQ just right.

Hush puppies? I’m not calling bullshit, but I’ve eaten BBQ all my life and this just never occurred to me.

Fuck off, hippy.

Are you outside your damn mind?

Not necessarily bland. It depends on the seasonings that go into the recipe.

5. White bread/rolls/biscuits

White bread at 5, are you fucking kidding or did Marchman get to the rankings while you slept

Pickles are fucking delicious with barbecue!

No, that’s what the 15 beers you’re going to drink will do the next morning.

A) Where are the green beans?
B) Mac N Cheese not being in the top 3 is just mind boggling.
C) I’m from the northeast, so collards are foreign to me but when you find well made collards, it’s heaven.

Potato salad needs to be number #2. Cornbread should move to #5 and kick white bread/rolls down to green salad. I mean wtf is green salad even doing on this list?

1st two are spot on. So is 15. Baked beans need to be way lower. Replace “white bread” with “Texas toast.” Green salad should be stricken from the record and never mentioned again as it is, in no way, a barbecue side dish; replace it with pickles. Watermelon needs to be on here somewhere.

GTFO! Baked Beans are #1. Cornbread can range from #1 to #2048 depending on who brought it. Hush Puppies are always #2, they ain’t at every barbecue.