Jalopnik staff, would you be up for running a couple of articles to see if we can do this? We’ve found people’s stolen cars before, I’d bet we can get Tom’s Subaru. I’m not spending shit during this lockdown - I’m good for $100

I wouldn’t trust billionaires to know how to drive

IKR. I think all ER and ICU nurses and doctors should be required by law to be driven to and from work by one of these driven by a billionaire for at least a year.

Lets spot her the 2500 to get the MS3. David Tracy nailed it this time even though that car has interior styling straight out of a metro bus.

seriously, someone forward me the venmo. I got a 5 spot.

You’re an ICU nurse? Today, the question isn’t what car you should buy, it’s what car we should buy for you.

but it might blow over

The xB is basically a Corolla with a funky body in it.

If you don’t get to work I might die, so please buy a Corolla.

Gonna’ miss you Kristen a bunch here at the ol’ J-lop, but wish you the best of luck at your new digs at Business Hard Cider. That’s the place, right?

Good to see you, Alanis. The hate mail and booze videos won’t be the same without you and Kristen. How goes it at the new job?

OK rude 

Sweetie, it’s bottom-shelf GIN. Have fun! 

What? How can this be? Kristen, you are one of the most original, gifted, and wealthy writers for Jalopnik, or any car or other site, anwhere, period. Don’t go, BUY the damned site!

It is so extraordinary to be able to find yourself at a job where you can basically say whatever you want.

Your articles have always had an honest take and I for one appreciated that.  You will be missed!

Cheers to you Kristen. I always enjoyed your writing! Good luck in your future endeavors.

What! No Kristen ? Neither fancy nor poor? We will miss you.

We seriously need a “where are they now” article on former Jalopnik contributors.

WHAT?!?