“Unplanned”. Nah, this is definitely planned. Anything to keep the stock price up. 

Another great one

...I’m gonna say it. The front end of this car was a tragedy

I know it shouldn’t bother me this much, but it does—I’m genuinely embarrassed to drive a Tesla because of Musk. I can’t wait to sell this car. I’m sure Farley or Toyoda might be P’sOS too, but at least they don’t constantly and loudly remind me of it.

Ten percent discount, ninety percent risk of death. No thanks, Nazi Man.

The Trump DOJ just sent out a memo stating they will be investigating anyone who refuses to buy a Tesla for possible prosecution and deportation.

So this isn’t the time Werner Herzog tried carrying a boat over the mountains?

Wow this took me down memory lane. As a young engineer that started my career at Ford (‘07-’10) under Mulally’s “One Ford” plan... it reminds me of how much it sucked and nothing but a joke around the office. Every place I’ve worked at since has had a similar mentality or moto, and they all fail. Ford’s problem, was it…

“as making it harder for more skilled applicants white cis men to get hired as controllers.”

I’m shocked. This is my shocked face. You’re telling me that Trump is a disingenuous lying gas bag who only punches down? You mean he’s an idiot racist that will just whinge at an conservative bugaboo that the TV sad was bad? 

Pssh!  This is just round earther propaganda from an obviously AI video.

Bring it on. Every extra $50/month the die-hard MAGA’s have to spend on gas is $50 they can’t spend on Elon’s/Trump’s/Milania’s/Pastor Bob’s bitcoin scheme. 

Yes. Just a not very optimal clarity.

If anyone in the White House press corps had any self respect, they would ask him to spell tariff.

It’s now Rumps “Golf of America!”

I mean, it looks like we’re already waiting in lines for fire trucks...so are we already communists?

Not just any helicopter too. A military one. 

I mean he did have like 17 holes in one during a round of golf and retired from the sport so of course hes capable of giving elite level olympic athletes advice! /s

I have a bad feeling that The Onion will have to shut down because after not even two weeks into this alternative reality nightmare, actual happenings and actions are far crazier and destructive than what a humorous satire site could ever dream up.  Already so, so tired of Trump and we have a long way to go.

I’m surprised he didn’t get out the Gulf of Mexico sharpie and draw a crazy flight path.