I got a used copy of Project 2025, but someone had already completed the word jumble!*

“Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors”

“Hah, take that, the dealership!”

“Captain’s Log...Two Zero Two Four...point Three Four Four. On the orders of...Starfleet...I’ve...taken the...Enterprise to the....Earth...country of America to...find out who is...getting us all those...tickets!”

They raided my garage and took all my boxes of Christmas ornaments and old exercise gear! They even took my kayak!

For Sale. Low miles. Stored indoors. Price firm (I know what’ve got!).

In three years, Toyotadyne will become the largest supplier of basketball computer systems. All power forwards are upgraded with Basketdyne computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they dribble with a perfect operational record. The Toyotanet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 1997.…

Law & Order: Convenience Store Unit

“Okay, if it stalls, turn the key off, pump the gas a few times, turn the key on, floor it, floor it, key off, key on, pump the gas until it catches.”

As if that wasn’t already bad enough, the Tennessean reports the arresting officers claimed in their notes that he urinated on himself during the stop.

[The Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror III but the cursed frogurt is a rotary engine.mp4]

It’s their own fault for playing Thelma & Louise on the dash screen!

“Non!”

Pro-Tip: If you carry a flat of AAs, you can refill it as you go.

Police are issuing an APB for an elderly white man, bearded, dressed in red with white fur trim and black boots, who was spotted fleeing the scene.

“Hurry up, Honey, I need to clear the driveway”, I said to my wife as she tried to two-finger the last pickle out of the jar.

“Nice minivan, Bro, are you a Soccer Mom?”

The movie Vacation, but with this car.

[World map showing route of Indiana Jones.mp4]

“I felt like destroying something beautiful.” ~ Fight Club