Oh, I've had dire stomach bugs before, the kinds that land you in the ER. Doctor said that diarrhea happens for a reason- to get the shit (and the bug) out of you. On a day to day basis, though, I'll take caffeine.

No. Pampered little fucks! They gotta fake it.

They'll be fine.

The soles should be whoopie cushions.

Lean in.

Enjoy!

I'll text my mom maybe once a week (god bless iPhones because they got my mom into texting). I never call unless I'm trying to nail down plans or need some information from her. I love my mom, but the best thing that ever happened for our relationship was my moving out of the house for college and never moving back…

I have this dress in two colors and always get compliments. It's very flattering and the material is nice.

The company was just purchased, and I've noticed a lot of younger-trending clothes. I wouldn't wear any of it if I were 15, but at 30, I think there's definitely cute stuff. And I wear a lot of color.

I don't think so. If you are willing to go to a tailor, you can have any of these dresses fitted to your shape and proportions. I love my tailor.

Kiyonna has really beautiful dresses with sleeves. The dresses aren't cheap, but are lovely. Kiyonna also posts photos of "real women" (i.e. non-models) wearing the dresses, so you can actually get a sense of how they might look on you.

Same. IPAs are gross, like battery acid in my mouth. PBR is not too bad when you're broke or when it's really hot out and you're camping.

Valium is for sedation, Vicodin is for pain relief.

People not into opiates, yo.

They're all in the bathroom.

I'm 31 years old, which is exactly how long Quaaludes have been off the market in the U.S. I doubt I will ever try one.

You seem to know exactly what Valium and Vicodin are for.

I'd take PBR over any IPA. I fucking hate IPAs. It's a scorched earth policy in a bottle. I like hops, but not at the expense of all other flavors.

Even while frowning, she is a beautiful child.

Truly uncanny. A+