again, im not a doctor bc men should only be doctors so if they think that forced masturbation is the way to cure me than so be it

so they can diagnose me with HYSTERIA?!?

I am in my period so I am not sure why you are being so mean to me! I JUST WANT THE SKY. Is that too much to ask!?!

From the past year or two:
-The one with the plague rats 6/10
-The one with the space guy who is always trying to bang chicks 7/10
-The one about the old-timey magic guy who is always trying to bang chicks, I think there are also rats in this one 5/10
-The one that looks like japanese Blade Runner 4/10
-steam punk terry…

I would seriously love a website that was nothing but the partners of gamers giving reviews based on sitting in the same room while it’s being played.

I have been watching my boyfriend play it since it came out. It is by far the least boring/annoying game for him to play while I read on the couch. That’s high praise on my girlfriend of a gamer video game review scale.

I think, on occasion, about the fact that Rose was surely sexually active with Cal (“you are my wife in practice if not by law”, as well as his almost offhanded“I had hoped you would come to me last night”) and that Jack was almost certainly a virgin (everything about his behavior and the way he discusses women) and…

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

I’m wearing 16 now and am so bummed. But not so bummed out that I didn’t eat some cake yesterday. Today is another day...

Married dude here: If my wife said, “hey I’m leaving you for Captain America,” I'd completely understand. It would suck, but I couldn't blame her.

Thank you, Phyllis, dear, I’ll keep your helpful suggestion in mind.

Yes Phyllis, the lemon bars are STORE-BOUGHT. No I don’t want a recipe for next time. Get off of my fucking back about it.

Oh god, Phyllis. And you just KNOW she’s going to make some kind of comment on the wine selection. Some of us PREFER a Gewurztraminer to your fucking Sauv Blanc, Phyllis.

I love him. He is the definition of giving no fucks.

Fingers crossed they come out with a: “super big-ass bucket to go” takeout size.

Exactly.He has every right to feel frustrated or hurt when people slam him for something, he’s human and not a robot and obviously a good person. But he doesn’t use that shit as an excuse not to keep fighting. He takes it and moves on and tries to do better. Which is good.

I think...we all just need to take a little…

1. Too many clothes on Lochte. 2. I would have sex with every member of the Swedish team and I don’t even like girls. 3. I need the name of the Canadian in the middle.

Omg. Could you FUCKING not voice my thoughts??! Could you imagine???!! They missed a trick and a half. I’m losing my mind just thinking about the possibilities.

As a WASP, don’t make this about WASPs. Those outfits are tacky, and my late grandmother would say so if she saw them.

The correct answer is: USAs uniforms should have been designed by Ivy Park.