“Adorable”, go listen to some Steely Dan and take your nuts back out of yer stomach, ya fuckin’ pansy

No shit, Sherlock.

Our family bought one exactly like this, it literally stayed with us for a week before... I don’t remember what happened to it actually, but it was gone. I do remember it being a massive pile of shit even though it looked great.

I’ve detected a whiff of troll.

That’s true, you need low-end for off-roading not hp.

That 3.0 diesel is more of economy engine, it doesn’t have much in the way of balls. It has good torque numbers but that’s about it.

Yes

I wanna see that Fisher-Price interior after 700k, I rode in a Silverado with 80k and it’s interior rattled over every bump.

“Tish”

Maybe I have weird taste, but I always thought the ‘79 Firebird had a very clean shape. I have a weird dislike of 80's cars too, so that might have something to do with it.

I’m usually a Ford guy but I have to agree with you here, what the fuck were the Big Three’s penny-pinchers on when they made these decisions? Also you left out the Volare, but they rotted away before they got off the showroom floor so that’s not really an option.

I didn’t even know the Paseo existed, was it popular in the states? Was it even sold in the states?

It’s almost Russian in the way the grill doesn’t match the body. It’s like the people at Jeep sat down and thought “Well people are tired of the Jeepster, so let’s put a faux-Bronco grill on it call it a Commando... genius!”

Are we just going to ignore that the thumbnail picture has a guy getting his face melted off if that’s the radiator puking itself up?

...Kevin Spacey’s Michael Caine impression?

I can’t lie, I have an weird desire for an early-90s Explorer Sport. No reason for wanting one I just do, a 5-speed preferably but I’ll tolerate a slushbox.

I have a ‘91 Civic Sedan, only with blue interior instead of this sandy red stuff. It took some serious getting used to with those automatic seatbelts, you reach for them and they’re already attacking you...

Not only that, how lonely would it be in general? No previous generation of family, no children, presumably no wife (he doesn’t mention one, anyway), how can someone live like that? I know for a fact that I would be a miserable old bastard if I was in his shoes.

Wasn’t that term uncool even then?

He probably thinks the ship is called the “Firefly”.