That’s really interesting! I’ve never heard crushes described in such a mundane way. It was hard to imagine how people functioned on a daily basis if they got crushes “all the time” in the way they’re depicted in fictional media; “positive acquaintanceship plus a little something extra that I don’t experience” is a…

Every time I read one of these relationship articles:

I pretty much gave up on the thought of having crushes on other women besides my wife once I realized that I’m already enough of a disappointment to one woman so why make it worse.

As someone who’s never had a crush, how often do these tend to happen for everyone else? The entire concept of a crush is kind of baffling and fascinating to me, never mind it happening regularly like this article suggests.

No. Just no.

This is an awful premise, and it couldn’t possibly be more wrong.

Just now thinking, since this was moved off of Deadspin, why isn’t it called adequatemancast now?

3+ hour podcast. Jesus, who listens to all of that on a consistent basis?

+1 for inspiring me to Google ‘lorgnette’.

True, and we dont want them to risk dropping their caviar!

Even if they stand up, Yankees fans clearly won’t be able to applaud. Their hands will be full, what with their lorgnettes and walking sticks to hold onto.

The dozens of fans there I'm sure will give Papi his due.

Super long commercial, not worth sitting through for the clip. Deadspin blows it again.

Sure, but because this one is impressive in its requirements (and a joy to watch someone unlock), we’re gonna write about it!

Are you crazy? This is gonna require at least a Pentium 166 and 16 MB of RAM. That’s insane.

Aren’t you the edgy one.

Wouldn’t hesitate

No. But run the poll again with the sexy gorilla.

Greg hates football and pizza? Why doesn’t he work for Slate?

Grow a dick. This is why she doesn’t like you. You don’t have a dick. I’m sure this “C” guy gives it to her like she dishes it out and that’s what she craves. I’m just amazed someone can be this dickless. Call it love, call it sex, but let’s call a spade a spade - you need to alpha up your beta game. Praise Jebus I’ve…

I dunno.. don't you think if more intelligent people were breeding, there'd be more livable wages, paid leaves, and proper funding for scientific research? It certainly wouldn't hurt in trying to live up to the ideals and promises you speak of...