Except that you don’t have people passing your open window at night in a Chris Craft.  My neighbor doesn’t fire up his Chris Craft at 3:30am to go to work.  I don’t see people in Chris Crafts riding with 8 other people in Chris Crafts in the left lane of the highway.  

That was the answer today too, but it was phrased more diplomatically.

That still costs you money, but you’ve already paid it.

I know that I’m one of those people that touches every aisle seat: it’s not because walking is hard, but because I’m afraid of flying. It’s genuinely terrifying for me to not be tightly buckled into my seat, and I imagine some of the other seat-pullers are in that boat.

Haha, I have the same problem. Why should I buy new socks like some kind of millionaire when mine only have one hole each!

they came with a full tank of gas and a full trunk of...

Mini’s are growing, and I wish they didn’t. However, they are still “mini” relative to the rest of the market. The Mini Cooper is about 8"(!) shorter than a Fiesta. The Countryman, the biggest car/crossover in Mini’s lineup, is only 2" longer than a Golf, and a hair shorter than a Honda HRV. To find something shorter…

Look at any landscaper’s truck. It is a basic stripper model. You know how they got that truck? They went to a dealer and bought it.

Me and my 3 CD books (Case Logic FTW!) disagree. 

If they ended the bumper at the bottom of the tail lights as a straight line across the back, it wouldnt be an issue. What's going on is the result of "bumper creep" where more and more of the back end of the car and quarter panels is composed of the one-piece plastic bumper unit.

I’m a crazy person and my favorite part of big cities is figuring out the public transportation. Last week on my second trip to NYC I took a bus from Laguardia to a subway then walked to Grand Central to get a train and it was a soothing experience putting it all together to get to my destination.

How lazy can you be?  There’s a map showing where the trains go.  Just find your nearest station.  The train tells you when you reach your destination.

It’s really not though.

Spitting lit cigarettes at me, just like mom used to

Just ran into my garage to fix this and to my bewilderment realized that I don't own a porsche.

I also read this story as an earnest reflection of the author’s views on the subject manner and not at all a tongue-in-cheek narrative device. 

Well, they only tell you where you can and can’t put your dick and what you can and can’t put into your body, but other than that, and anything else they can come up with because it’s in the Bible, they are totally not controlling anyone.

Buick is putting $0 into marketing these gems. Tom McParland has probably sold more of them than any given Buick sales person.

I wish they offered the Opel looking version here in the US sans plastic cladding and SUV look.