There is an immensely vast gap between “we’ve tested as best as we can and are reasonably sure what will happen, even though there are variables that might introduce odd behavior once it goes live” and “we have no way of knowing what will happen.”

Twitter often has no way of knowing what will happen until after features get deployed.

That was just weird enough to be hilarious. 

Yeah, well, I shouldn't have to put up with you, Hatch, so maybe you should just leave already.

Wow, I’m so glad the brave people at ICE are protecting us from those dangerous artists. Who knows what they might have done if they hadn’t been safely contained in subpar facilities overnight!

I absolutely loved this movie and went to see it seven times in theaters. Seven. Times. I also bought so much Jell-O because I wanted all the trading cards on the boxes.

She looks like an athlete wearing proper attire to play a sport, to me.

That’s the kind of thing spellcheck doesn’t catch, though, because “am” is spelled correctly. What they need is a proofreader.

When I was working for 911 we had a call in which a woman was hit by a car creeping into the crosswalk because the driver wanted to see if they could make a right-hand turn. The car was barely moving at the time. The woman was still killed because even that impact was enough for her to hit her head just wrong on the…

preferring to drink water out of cups strategically placed around the house instead of a regular water bowl in the kitchen

Oh man yes, that stuff is the BEST.

I was seriously unimpressed by Chipotle when one opened near me - luckily I have access to the far superior Cafe Rio, which afaik has never had contamination issues.

I was always so mad that my mother wouldn’t let me have jelly shoes as a kid - now that I’m older and realize how awful those shoes were to wear, I’m kind of glad I never had a pair.

Who exactly is highly anticipating this movie?

Some people respond well to treatment. Some don’t. I know I’ve been dealing with it for about four years now.

I thought it couldn’t figure out the mood it wanted to portray - it was serious bzns for the majority of it, then suddenly tried to go all campy go-go-Power-Rangers once they transformed and it felt really wrong by that point.

I used to have a male doctor who blamed everything on my weight (for reference, I was “overweight” by BMI but had 21% body fat) and wouldn’t consider anything else. I switched to a female doctor and, lo and behold, when someone actually listened to me and ran tests, it turned out that I was severely hypothyroid and…

Hey so if the doctor had said anything along those lines, I wouldn’t be complaining. The problem here is that he basically told me that I was being a whiner, not the lack of pain medication itself. But thank you for nitpicking.

Non-opioid medications do exist, though. It wasn’t so much that I wanted an opioid as that my very real and very intense pain was dismissed as “not bad” by some dude who doesn’t even have an ovary to know how a cyst feels.