I really don't think this would look anywhere near as bad without the crowbarred wisecracks telling me what I'm supposed to think between every paragraph. I'm struggling to find anything wrong with this, and I'm not even a Jack White fan.

Wow, I never thought I'd say this, but — Team White

also the necklace thing is NOT an allegedly. that has all the subtly of a glitter bomb fueled by napalm

i cant do it

The bridal wear of a 1970s cult leader's 6th wife.

A flat white isn't an Australian or NZ invention. It's also the least pretentious coffee you can get, it has nothing to do with microfoam. It is merely espresso with milk that isn't frothed at all, hence the FLAT white name.

Mine went more like, "Ok, I'm inserting the Mirena."

".... Oh, uhm. Hold on, I'm going to have to crank one or two more times. Ok, now I'm inserting the ... No .... I'll crank two more times .... No? Oh, I'm so sorry dear. One more time ... No ... Well, your cervix is just not being cooperative."

It got in there, and…

jia, i like the way you do words in the order that you do. you are good at words orders.

Those are some super pretty ladies. But they kind of look like that could be sisters and I'm always kind of freaked out by couples (of any gender combo) that look like they could be siblings.

I definitely agree. I just thought you were giving a little too much credit to the state of Florida.

Nice mic drop, Colin.

I've been doing this for years but...whenever I consciously alter the way I communicate with others to purposely alter the impact on them I feel quite manipulative. Of course that attack of conscience doesn't happen until later when I'm thinking about the conversation but, I always feel a touch psychopathic when…

• A rodent's nest with multiple rodents in a plastic-lined box in a cooler that had thawing rib meat on top of melons.

I love both Parks and Rec, as well as Modern Family. But objectively? Parks and Rec is LEAGUES AND MILES AND PARSECS ahead of Modern Family in terms of smart comedy. It's much less sitcom-y as well.

This is THE musical that started my childhood love of musical theatre, so I might be a bit biased here but to answer your question: YES.

I'm excited and scared.

I'm actually nervous to listen to it. Real apprehension. I'm also very protective of my Sondheim and I'm excited and scared. Although more scared right now... Should I dare listen?

LITERAL BEST MOM

i'm so sad, and so angry at people who are coopting this tragedy to fuel their racism.

this motherfucker