Pay attention men: Women do not like it when you send your donger to their cell phone. They end up blocking it every time.

Since actual evidence doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, the right kind of anecdotal evidence might.

Of course it’s bullshit. I don’t see Madison Bumgarner’s name on it.

If Manny Machado does win, I’d call whoever put this test up a wizard.

All that juice should have no problem getting to the pavement with the Sport’s standard all-wheel-drive.

Brandon Belt’s career .994 fielding percentage is also good for 69th all-time.

It’s always good when a Belt gets loose for 69.

Oh, I thought this was going to be about ordering enough food to feed 4 people and then yelling to your imaginary family “Food’s here!” so that the delivery guy doesn’t think you’re a loser ordering a single serving of orange chicken on a Friday night.

A few weeks ago I went to DC and street parked. About 45 minutes later the barricades and police showed up — they were clearing the street for the presidential motorcade. It was really cool to see it go by — something like 27 vehicles — and they made sure the street was entirely and completely devoid of traffic.…

you can see the Flying Elbow Cop thinking “THIS IS IT! THE MOMENT I’VE TRAINED MY WHOLE CAREER FOR! THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!!”

warthog is great

Charlie: What do we build?
Frank: We don’t build anything. Leave that to the chinks! Speaking of
which, I want this sushi dinner to be the tits!
Charlie: Okay, so you want it to be really expensive.
Frank. No! No! I mean I want to eat it off some Jap broad’s tits!

If it was it would’ve ended with “you guys”.

this looks pretty dignified to me.

I WISH.

I once bought a TV from a Best Boy.

When I was 11 I was at a week long hockey camp at the University of Maine. My best friend and I realized a couple days in that - cut off from TV (this was 1994) and playing hockey 10 hours a day - no one had any idea of what was going on in the world.

1. Delete all tweets.

I wouldn’t tweet a thing, just start following depraved porn accounts, racist accounts, etc, and then let somebody else discover it.

First Law Of Takes: A take shall remain in effect until its retraction is demanded by a more powerful organization.