shut up

More like Royal Cockeater

The Wizards are going to Do The Shit this year. Fight me.

Someone now needs to respond and write an article about how many of the Deadspin writers they could defeat, should they come at the author one at a time. Kluwe? Anyone?

I literally did the exact same thing 4 months ago. Poor guy.

I went to a Brazilian steakhouse (the kind where you pay a flat rate and get unlimited meat and sides) and my buddy and I ate until we couldn’t breathe, went into the bathroom to pull the trigger, then ate more. We did this three times.

LOL

Thank you. I’m so sick of people gargling Bradley’s nuts all the time. He sucks, and has sucked for years. He was easily our worst consistent starter in the World Cup.

It’s a tax on the poor, just like the lottery.

gold.

Munenori Kawasaki just became my favorite player.

Would you like some sort of medal?

WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK IS THIS

Nailed it.

This happened a month ago. I’m 24.

LOL you keep reading, though!

I have a similar policy, except that I don’t own a home phone, and I toss my work phone across the room into a corner when I get home.

Answering the phone using “Hello?” is a sign of someone who is never called on purpose.

You are better than other people because your home is close to Mexico and thereby has more “authentic” Mexican food. That’s what you wanted to hear, right?

I got the humongous eyeballs one without warning today (or knowledge of the update) and actually yelled and dropped my phone. This feature is gold.