...with a Costco sized jar of ranch dressing as V.P.

No! You’re not. Are they hair models?

“Why are you taking a taxi for so short a distance? What’s wrong with you?”

Wow. Horrifying.

Yeah, the number bothered me, but I felt okay in the mirror, so I decided I didn’t need to know a number anymore. The doctor never told me to watch my diet or anything, so it wasn’t discussed other than, “good weight gain this week, keep up whatever you’re doing.”   

Right? I wasted years being afraid to tell a boyfriend what I wanted out of our relationship because I “didn’t want to scare him off.” If I knew it was going to scare him off, we weren’t as “meant to be” as I thought we were. It’s called a grown up relationship - let’s both explicitly state what we want and either…

Same. I loved that Rachel’s sister called him out the moment he said that.

Truth.

You know how prince charming kisses sleeping beauty and breaks the spell? I need rachel to bounce on Bryan’s dick so she can break the spell, that he has put on her.

Also, while Peter is talking like a normal person and saying he may not be ready to propose, he’s definitely gonna be ready for marriage as the next Bachelor backed with a couple more zero’s in his bank account and some sweet Instagram sponsored ads.

I’m glad I’m 40. I prefer to get drunk on cheap prosecco in my garden.

Transporting 100 ETOH patients would be a nightmare, logistically. Even if you put two per ambulance, that’s 50 separate runs. Factoring in the heat, a lot of them probably needed IV hydration, which means you need a medic and not “just” an EMT (note: I’m an EMT, don’t @ me. But at least in my state, we can’t start…

In addition to Chance, the lineup included Kyle, PnB Rock, and ANoyd.

Whales are dope.

This is off topic but I really love her haircut here.

I was just thinking: I skipped right past this to butterfly clips and dino buns.

I ride the train in Dallas (did you know we have a train?) and I will say that I don’t generally mind when people eat if (a) it doesn’t smell strongly and (b) it doesn’t get a mess all over everything. Granola bars are not exempt; I have had to stand to avoid sitting in someone’s copious Nature Valley crumbs. Fruits…

I’ll have what she’s having.

Jezebel is a website written by 25 year olds talking about 17 year olds to an audience for 35 year olds. That’s the depressing thing.

As someone who is also in recovery, I have always wondered how pregnancy can affect that process. Man, I’m sure it brings up a lot of very complicated, contradictory feelings. I just wanted to say this: the fact that you are giving such consideration to how you are going to approach this subject with her gives me all…