You say it won’t, but I’m going to keep working on my long-term case study that proves otherwise.

I have to have the canned version. Something about those ring shapes brings back the best memories of Thanksgivings past.

I actually prefer the canned stuff to any homemade I’ve ever tried. Especially if it stays in the jelly form. But I’m a weirdo...

Seriously, has Pope even like...met my family?

He says that, but I can’t count how many times I’ve been getting lunch with him, his phone rings and he tells me, “Sorry, it’s God. I have to take this.” Then I’m left there looking like a stooge to all the other customers like, “Oh... he just got ditched by the Pope!” So I bitterly end up stealing a bite of his…

Shh. I’m liveblogging Dad’s spinach

Pope, I will make you a deal. I will stop using my phone at the dinner table when you stop wearing the tablecloth.

DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO POPE, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD

Better idea,

That’s up to the politicians. And you’re probably right, we can always count on our leaders to do the wrong thing. But those kids right there are soldiers, or about to be. Their part is courage, not policy. There’s nothing insincere or misplaced about this gesture. Every one of them will gladly take up arms and put…

So. He’s still a bigoted asshole. Just a bigoted asshole whose survival instincts kicked up.

Judge Scott Johansen probably didn’t expect his decision to meet with any scrutiny. When it did, he backpedaled quickly. He and other dead-enders can squawk all they want in their private playpens, but when light is shined on them they tend to scurry for safety or climb up on that Kim Davis martyr cross. Good call for…

“the judge’s decision to rescind was an obvious reaction to the widespread criticism he received.”

Awesome. Goes to show that speaking up actually can work to push back against the callous theocratic tide.

This is also proof that Christian Sharia reigns supreme in certain parts of our country. I don’t know how you ever fix that, unless the Supreme Court at some point bans religion from public life.

Anyone who ever hated France because they didn’t support the Iraq War was an asshole in the first place.

I blame the English language. It’s not Natasha’s fault that “All you can eat” can be singular or plural (and boo to Denny’s for taking advantage of the ambiguity). This wouldn’t have happened in Shakespeare’s day. When the tavern had an “All thou canst eat” special, everybody knew it only meant thee, not thy whole…

What? Those uniforms are white and gold.

If you’d bothered to read the story you would have noted that she gave her ID for a photocopy.

Ugh. Have you seen the commercials from Walmart imploring us to use a green light bulb to show a sign of support for veterans? Seriously, if you want to support veterans, how about you save the light bulbs and donate the money to an organization that actually supports veterans.

...because your job is *selling* cars, not *driving* them...