Yeah, fuck these trauma victims. How dare they try to make sense of a terrible situation and avoid falling pray to survivors’ syndrome.

This may be completely random, but... I am deeply uncomfortable with public nudity. Despite being an avowed, body positive, sex positive, queer person. I hate seeing strangers in any form of undress. Men with their shirts off, women with their shirts off. Doesn’t matter.

When he was like, “I laahk spending tahm with mah wife, ahyuk.” I almost fainted. Sir. SIR. Even though you are now a private citizen, SOME decorum is called for.

James Comey is the type of guy who gives his wife coupons for back massages on their anniversary.

John McCain tried to ask Comey about Hillary’s fucking emails and then made this smirk like, “hehe maverick rides again.”

It is extremely hard to smoke this joint while also screaming into a pillow.

Or my personal favorite, the ones who insist on using Waze despite my stated preference of route. No, don’t get in the freeway during rush hour. Just take 15th to Broadway. Yes, I know 15th has a 25mph speed limit but the freeway is a parking lot from 4-7

He looks like he sucks good puss.

That’s how the Alamo worded it. Female and female-identifying.

Yeah, that’s like saying, “I’m allergic to gluten. Except for bow-tie pasta.”

If I won the lottery I would hire Gary Cole to follow me around and correct my grammar.

“Oh my goodness,” I just threw away my birth control

Yes, just make my Xanax shaped like a kitten or something. Idc

I like Matt Braugner’s euphemism:

Yeah I’m not really into legislating women’s bodies and denying them employment based on that. But I guess you meant well, France.

That’s so awful.

RIP Lady Sybil

I don’t know what their friendship is like now, but if I think it’s incredibly shitty of him to out her like this. Yes, it was shitty that she had an affair with a married guy but he doesn’t really have the right to air HER business like this.

ITS NOT AVACADO TOAST ITS TOAST WITH AVACADO ON IT AVACADO TOAST WOULD BE TOAST MADE FROM AVACADOS

But where will girls with unnecessary y’s in their name buy cheap wedge heels and halter tops?!